Family Therapy
by TeaCullen
Summary: Sequel to The Lie Detector Test. "Do they have family wings in the mental ward? Because we're so going to need them," Emmett laughed. Rated M for language, violence and suggestive themes. Also because I'm paranoid. OOC at times. R&R! *Complete*
1. Shock Treatment

**Disclaimer: This is only going to happen once in this story. I am not, nor will I even be, Stephine Meyers. Or Stephine anything for that matter though I may one day be Ashley Meyers. But I doubt it. Enjoy!**

***~*~*Carlisle's Point Of View*~*~*  
**

"Esme dear, I'm home," I called out, walking into the house. I expected the face of my beautiful wife to meet me as usual. What I saw instead shocked and disturbed me greatly.

"Dad!" Jasper called out, highly embarrassed. He was dancing around to the song I Feel Pretty from The West Side Story. He was wearing a tight leather mini skirt and a revealing corset along with fishnet stockings and stripper shoes. On his back was a tramp stamp, most likely drawn in permanent marker. The worst part being the pole which he was dancing around.

I really shouldn't be surprised anymore. I have seen more in the last year than I've ever wanted to see in my entire existence. If I walked in on my kids doing one more kinky thing I may have to kill them all. Starting with Emmett and Rosalie for having sex…on my bed…I'd really had it with my children! The only normal one was Claire and she's to freaking young to be truly weird!

"FAMILY MEETING! RIGHT NOW!" I shouted for all my family to hear. I was again surprised, this time at how angry I sounded.

Within a matter of minutes every member of the house was sitting around the long dining room table. I took my place at the head of the table, to agitated to sit.

"Carlisle, what's wrong love?" my darling wife asked from her end of the table. She looked a little scared, as did most of the children. Only Alice and Edward looked truly terrified. Well they'll need to suck it up.

"I just think we could all use a little therapy," I said, my voice scary calm. "Dr. Giggles agreed to be the family therapist. He's new at the hospital but comes highly recommended. Obviously he knows nothing about the fact that were all mythical creatures, aside from Claire of course. I would prefer if it stayed that way. I cannot and will not force anyone to go to therapy however I would prefer it if you all just went quietly. I cannot force any of you into therapy but I can force all of you out of my house and I can freeze all bank accounts," I announced. I knew it was wrong of me to threaten eviction and cutting them off but honestly, it would probably be the fastest way to get them to agree.

"Daddy, I'll do whatever you want me to just please don't take away my credit card! Please! And of course Jasper will come too," Alice begged, the first to give in. Of course it would boil down to shopping for her. Well that's two down. Only 16 more to go.

"Don't worry Alice, as long as you go willingly I'm not going to take your credit cards away. Next up, Edward. Are you going to go or am I going to sell a certain silver Volvo?" I asked him. Staring him down.

"So much for not forcing us to go. I'll go just for the love of all that is holy, don't hurt the car," he begged.

"But I'm not 'forcing' you to go. I'm giving you options. I'm just also endangering things I know you love to get you to go without much complaint. Bella?" I said, turning to look at Bella.

"No need to threaten my stuff Carlisle. I'll go more than willingly. As will Renesmee and Jacob," she announced, speaking for her daughter and son-in-law.

6 out of 18 really isn't bad. Now for the rest, "Anyone else going to go willingly and without coercion? Raise your hands."

Esme's hand shot up instantly along with Claire's and Maggie's. Of course Quil and Nahuel raised their hands in response. Embry and Seth raised their hands next, knowing resistance was futile. In response to Seth raising his hand, Leah raised hers. Always the protective older sister. Ashley and Lucas raised their hands, unwilling to let there soul mates face therapy without them. That left only Emmett and Rosalie.

"Rose? Emmett? Am I going to have to make more threats?" I asked, glowering at them. With a resigned sigh they both raised their hands. YAY! Super dad wins another one!

Edward looked at me like he thought I had lost my mind and maybe I had. The therapy wasn't just for the children after all.

"Good. Now that that's settled, we'll be meeting Dr. Giggles tomorrow morning at 11 sharp. No excuses. Do you all understand?" I said, eyeing all of them. Right away 18 hands shot up into the air, no one daring to contradict me. "Any questions? Comments? Concerns?"

No one said a thing. Only Claire dared to move an inch. Even then it was only because she was human and couldn't not move. The wolves on the other hand had learned to be incredibly still from the vampires in the house.

"Excellent. You're all free to leave but I want you back here at 10 a.m. understood?" I said as they got up to leave. The children nodded as they left.

Finally only Esme and I were left. I wrapped my arms around my wife and sighed. "Thank you for agreeing so readily with me."

"Anything for you my love. Besides, after the many rousing rounds of The Lie Detector Test Game with the family, I have to agree with therapy. I'm just not to sure about using a human therapist. Do you really think all 17 of them can keep the secret and yet still tell the truth of their problems?" Esme asked, resting her head against my chest.

"I know but I looked into vampire therapist and apparently there really isn't a great need for them." I sighed walking towards our room with Esme still trapped in my embrace. It was a walk we had learned long ago.

A petite little figure was running towards us. "Grandma! Can I have some blueberry pie from dinner? Uncle Embry said I had to ask you."

I laughed as Esme swooped Claire up into her arms. "Well Claire, since you ate dinner so well I do believe you can. What do you think Carlisle?"

"Oh well I suppose if she ate all of her dinner without complaint then a piece of pie would be quite acceptable. Would you like ice cream on top?"

Claire's head bobbed up and down in excitement. She struggled against the stone of Esme's arms, desire raging in her eyes. Maybe some therapy would be good for Claire too after all. She had a slight addiction to blueberry pie with ice cream on top. Ever since we let her watch My Blueberry Nights with Renesmee and Ashley. Though she didn't understand the context of the movie at her age, she did fall in love with blueberry pie.

Esme let her down, taking her hand. They glided towards the kitchen to get Claire a piece of pie. I prayed the extra sugar wouldn't have her up all night. Sleep is after all very important to a growing child.

"Now Claire, you know you have to go to bed after you have your special treat right?" I asked her as she dove into the unappetizing looking piece of pie Esme sat in front of her.

"Will Uncle Jazz read me a bed time story?" the little angel implored.

"Of course sweetie. It's his turn," I said. "I'll go find him right now."

I glided out of the room in search of Jasper. I thought about the possible outcomes of tomorrow and none of them looked good. I just prayed everyone would be on their best behavior.

A/N: **Here's the start!** I know it's really dry but I just needed something to get the ball rolling. I popped in a couple movie references in this chapter. Some are really obvious, like the My Blueberry Nights one. Others are a little more subtle. **I have the pie thing in there to show that not even little Claire is truly normal.** But then again, when you grow up with werewolves and vampires, you wouldn't be normal either. Next chapter we meet Dr. Giggles. **I'll also explain some of the basic's in the next chapter.** And I had a little daydream about Jasper dancing around at the beginning of the chapter which inspired me. Originally I was going to have it be Emmett but something about it being Jasper fit more perfectly. Enough of my rambling. **Review.** If you have any ideas or problems you would like to see arise let me know. **Also the fan questions from the last story will actually fit better in this story so I didn't include them.**


	2. The Tip Of The Iceberg

***~*~*Esme's Point Of View*~*~***

"Alright everyone. It's time to go. I want everyone to go straight to the hospital. No side trips. If your not there by 10:45 then your going to lose your most prized possession. Be it a car, an object, or a person," Carlisle threatened sternly. I knew he hated having to threaten them but what other choice did he honestly have? I knew they would run, given the chance.

"Grandma? Am I riding with you and Grandpa?" little Claire asked me, a cookie in one hand and a book in the other.

"Of course you are angel. Would you like Quil to ride with us too?" I asked her as we walked towards my purple Mazda RX-8.

"Can he?" her little voice wondered, amazed that it was even an option.

"Why of course he can dear." I told her. Raising my voice an octave higher I said, "Quil, would you be so kind as to ride with Carlisle and I. We would love if you could keep Claire company."

Without hesitation Quil bounded after us, reaching the car first. Quickly he opened the door for Claire. I gently placed her in the back and made my way to the drivers seat of my car. Quil sat next to Claire. We waited for Carlisle to join us.

"What book are you reading Claire?" I asked curiously. It seemed like a think book for such a young mind.

"I'm reading Romeo and Juliet. Uncle Jazz has been helping me when I need it," she said proudly. Jasper and Claire were unbelievably close. He had never once in the 6 years she's lived with us tried to take a bite out of her.

"Oh really? That's great sweetie! Your going to be the smartest girl in your class when school starts up again," I told her honestly. In fact, Carlisle and I had been thinking of placing her in advanced classes. She was defiantly good enough to be in them.

Finally Carlisle finished his rant and came to join us in the car.

****************************************************************************

"Okay guys. This is really important to your father so please, for the love of all that is good in this world, be on your best behavior," I told all 17 of my darling children before we walked into the very large conference room we would be using for our 'sessions'.

We filed into the dark paneled room, each taking a seat around the conference table. Everyone looked extremely nervous. They all knew, as I did, that this would be a very trying session.

A tall man with short red hair and jade eyes walked into the room carrying 4 notebooks, all apparently blank. He smiled at us each in turn as he made his way to the head of the table.

"Good morning. I am Dr. Collin Giggles. I'm going to be your family therapist per Carlisle's request. I specialize in family therapy. So shall we begin by introducing yourselves and saying a little bit about you? Just any random tidbit will do," Dr. Giggles asked politely.

Pen poised over paper, Dr. Giggles looked around expectantly. I sighed to quiet for him to hear and said, "I'm Esme Cullen. I'm Carlisle's wife, obviously. I restore old things for a living."

Dr. Giggles nodded but did not comment on my introduction. I nudged Carlisle, silently telling him to go next.

"I'm Carlisle Cullen. I'm a surgeon as you know. I'm also a collector of fine art," my husband said smiling.

"I'm Edward Cullen. Music is my greatest passion. Other than my amazing girlfriend of course," Edward said, gazing lovingly into Bella's eyes.

"I'm Isabella Swan but I prefer to be called Bella. I'm writing a book," she said quietly. I didn't actually know that. I thought only Maggie was writing a book.

"I'm Jasper Hale. I love the Civil War." I had to stifle a laugh. Love wasn't the world for the amount of passion he held towards the Civil War.

"I'm Alice Swan! Shopping is my life!" Alice announced, bouncing in her chair. I don't believe there was ever a truer statement made.

"I'm Emmett Cullen. Umm, I love messing around with my brothers. Like yesterday when I almost made Quil cry!" I would have to find out what happened there so I could dish out the appropriate punishments.

"I'm Rosalie Hale. I don't want to be here," Rose said, looking at her reflection on a little hand held mirror.

"I'm Jacob Black. I like working on cars. Can I sit somewhere else?" Jacob asked, looking at Rose looking at herself. I couldn't help be giggle a little under my breath.

"I'm Renesmee Swan. My nickname is Nessie. I'm going to be a therapist one day too," Nessie said smiling brightly.

"I'm Seth Clearwater. Nessie's going to be my therapist some day," Seth said laughing.

"I'm Ashley Allan. I don't know why I'm here. I thought I was one of the normal ones." I had to admit, she wasn't all that strange but she is part of the family so she has to be here.

"I'm Lucas Brandon. I'm bored," Lucas said, sighing.

"I'm Leah Clearwater. I used to be a class A bitch but I'm working on it," Leah announced, looking around the room with a look that dared anyone to contradict her.

"I'm Nahuel Immich. I'm only here because Maggie would have made me come anyways," he said looking at the door longingly.

"I'm Maggie Mooney. I don't like being lied to," she said, staring Dr. Giggles down.

"I'm Quil Black. I'm going to kill Emmett if he ever kidnaps Claire again," Quil said glaring at Emmett with murder in his eyes.

"I'm Claire Clearwater. Don't tell Quil but Emmett didn't kidnap me, Embry did. Can I have a cookie now?" I giggles and gave her a cookie from my bag. Quil's gaze shifted to Embry.

"I'm Embry Black and Quil is going to kill me when we get out of here," Embry said, shifting in his seat so he was closer to the door and farther from Quil.

"Well that's a good start I do believe. So Carlisle informed me that you are all adopted. Is that correct?" Everyone nodded, agreeing with Dr. Giggles. "Good. Is anyone here related to anyone else?"

"Dr. Giggles, if I may I'll explain the family dynamics involved," I said smiling at the good doctor.

"Of course Mrs. Cullen. Feel free to," Dr. Giggles said. He flashed a smile back at me and Edward trembled slightly with silent laughter.

"Edward and Emmett are brothers. Jasper and Rosalie are twins. Jacob, Quil, and Embry are triplets. Bella, Alice, and Renesmee are sisters. And finally Seth, Leah, and Claire are siblings. Edward is dating Bella. Emmett is dating Rosalie. Jasper is dating Alice. Jacob is with Renesmee. Seth is with Ashley. Lucas and Leah are an item as are Nahuel and Maggie. Quil, Embry, and Claire are the only ones not dating anyone at the moment," I explained. After I was finished I took a deep though unnecessary breath. Dr. Giggles looked dumbfounded.

"Wow…So let me get this straight. Just about everyone has a sibling in the family and just about everyone is dating someone…within the family…"

"That is correct. I know it is quite unorthodox but for this family, it works," I said, getting a little defensive. I knew it wasn't normal but were vampires for fucks sake! Normal is a relatively loose term in this family.

"Don't get me wrong Mrs. Cullen. I see nothing wrong with it. It's just very confusing. May I ask if those who are dating are sharing rooms?" Dr. Giggles asked.

"HA!" Carlisle exclaimed. "They're very independent children Dr. Giggles. We had separated them in the beginning but when they were constantly sneaking into each others rooms we made life easier for them and us."

"That's understandable. I suppose as long as there being safe then there isn't much worry," Dr. Giggles said. Edward scowled in his direction as did Maggie. I did not see this ending well.

Speaking so fast, Dr Giggles couldn't hear me I said, "Maggie, Edward, hold your tongues. Got it?"

They both nodded slightly. Dr. Giggles started talking again, "I would like to split into two groups. I'd like to talk to the girls alone, then the boys. Would that be okay?"

"Of course Dr. Giggles. You're the therapist after all," Carlisle said, leading the boys out of the room.

No this would defiantly not end well.

A/N: Holy crow I wrote this really fast. **I know things are still moving kind of slow but introductions were needed and if you've ever been in therapy, you know the beginning is always slow.** Next up, we're going to talk to the girls. Find out just what makes the want to kill each other. **Some questions for you to ponder…**_What's Bella's book about? Is Rose so full of herself because she's insecure? And does Alice's life depend on shopping?_ We shall see…**Review!!!**


	3. Just Us Girls

***~*~*Rosalie's Point Of View*~*~***

"Okay girls, I just want you all to know that everything you say in this room is confidential. The boys will never know anything about these sessions that you don't want them to know. Don't be afraid to express yourselves. And please try to be honest, otherwise we will accomplish nothing," Dr. Giggles said smiling. As if that would reassure us. The idiots can hear us from the waiting room.

"Whatever," I mumbled under my breath, just loud enough for Dr. Dipshit to hear.

"Rosalie! Show some respect or else you'll be losing your garage privileges," Esme threatened me. I sighed but didn't say anything more.

"Well Rosalie, since you seem so in the mood to share, why don't we start with you?" Dr. Giggles said. I have him my best if-looks-could-kill-you'd-so-be-dead look. He shuddered involuntarily but continued. "So Rosalie, tell me about yourself. Why don't you want to be here?"

"Well Doctor, I don't want to be here because I think this is a ridiculous waste of time. No amount of therapy is going to fix this family. I love my family, don't get me wrong but come on!" I declared. If after all these years we hadn't changed, I seriously doubted this tiny insignificant human would change anything.

"Most people think therapy is a waste of time until they actually experience it. Is there anything personal you'd like to share about yourself?" Dr. Giggles asked, looking at me expectantly. He wants something personal? I'll give him something personal.

"You want to know why I was dragged along? Because dad caught me and Emmett fucking in their car…on their bed…on Edward's piano…on the kitchen table…That's why I was dragged along. Personal enough for you?" I said, going for the shock the shit out of him factor. His jaw dropped and his hand flew across the notebook sitting in front of him.

"Yes that is and I would like to touch on that subject later during one-on-one time. Okay Alice, what can you tell me about yourself?" Dr. Giggles said. Oh joy. One on one time with Doctor Dipshit. He better pray I don't kill him when we're all alone!

"Well…People call me a pixie. I'm like the energizer bunny. I'm currently not addicted to any illegal substances either. I, like most of my family, am a vegetarian. I love shopping, though I wouldn't say I'm addicted to it. I just really enjoy buying things!" Alice rambled on all in one breath. Once again Dr. Giggles was left speechless.

"Thank you Alice. Ashley?"

"I'm a very random person. I'm going to be a lawyer one day. In fact I could pass my bars right now if it weren't for the fact that I'm only 17! I like dancing. And cookies!" Ashley said, bouncing just as much as Alice. They really were a lot alike.

"Thank you Ashley. Umm, Claire is it? What would you like to share?" Dr. Giggles asked. We all held our breath, knowing she was the one most likely to spill.

"I love Quil! He's my protector! And blueberry pie! I'm reading Romeo and Juliet. I'm going to be the smartest kid in my class," Claire announced proudly. We all beamed at her, we couldn't help it. She was our little angel.

"Wow Claire. Reading Romeo and Juliet at your age is impressive. Why did you choose that book?" Dr. Giggles asked, looking not surprised but disbelieving. His tone hinted at a condescending nature.

A growl escaped, not my throat but Esme's. "I choose that book because Bella said she loved reading it when she was younger. Jazz has been helping me but I don't really need it. I'm almost done with it too! I just wish that they would have made Paris a bigger character. Next he promised we could read Wuthering Heights. I'm so excited."

"Thank you for sharing Claire. Bella, what would you like to say?" he asked, turning to look at her. Once Claire was out of his line of sight, she stuck her tongue out at him. Our little angel.

Bella flashed Dr. Giggles a stunning smile, causing his heart to flutter. "Dr. Giggles, I love reading. I have a newfound passion for writing. I'm writing a book called 'Forever Young'. It's about vampires! A vampire that falls in love with a silly little human girl. It's based on a true story!" Her smile only grew until I was sure it would crack her face in half.

"That sounds…interesting. Leah? What would you like to add?"

"I don't know. I guess I've never been good with people. No actually I was good with people until Sam started dating my cousin Emily. But then I met Lucas and I've never looked back. If it weren't for Lucas I think I would still be the same vindictive bitch I used to be. You know I blamed Dr. Cullen's family for it? If they hadn't have moved to town, Sam and Emily would have never met. Then I started blaming Bella for it too. Which was wrong of me," Leah confessed. I felt so sorry for her. It was an emotion I wasn't used to. In fact, it annoyed me to no end.

"Bella's to blame for a lot of shit in this family," I murmured a little to loud. Luckily, Dr. Dipshit didn't seem to hear me.

"Well I'm glad that you got over your hate for them," Dr. Giggles said. "Maggie would you mind going next?"

"What's there to tell? I'm originally from Ireland but I'm glad to be living here in America now. Though I miss the beauty of Ireland immensely, I wouldn't go back if it meant giving everything up. Especially Nahuel. I love him so much. But I think we all feel the same way about our mates," Maggie said. Dr. Giggles looked confused at the use of the word mate.

"Ireland is a wonderful country. Maybe Nahuel and you can go there together one day." Though it sounded like Dr. Giggles was being sincere, Maggie growled lowly. Dr. Giggles better learn not to lie to Maggie or she just might kill him before I got the chance. "Renesmee, how about you next?"

"Fine. I'm going to be a future therapist. I hate being the little one. Claire and I are best friends. We practically grew up together. Oh and I'm not just going to be any sort of therapist, I'm going to be a sex therapist!" Nessie declared proudly. I couldn't help but laugh. Dr. Giggles looked about ready to lose it. I doubt he's ever had to deal with such a large family and such a unique family at that.

"Esme?" Dr. Giggles managed to choke out.

"Let's see. I love old fashioned things. I can't have children of my own so I chose to adopt. I wouldn't give up my family for anything, even if they annoy the hell out of my sometimes. They really are my children and I love them. I work a lot. Not because I have to but because I love the work I do," Esme said. We all smiled at her lovingly.

"That's great Esme. There are a few things I would like to talk about in depth. Rosalie, you made a comment about Bella causing a lot of problems in the family. Could you please elaborate?" Dr. Giggles asked. I almost leapt out of my chair and killed him.

"Well Doctor, Isabella is the reason Edward almost killed himself, she's the reason Jasper hated himself, she's the reason Alice almost had a breakdown, she's the reason Jacob and Sam almost killed each other, she's the reason James, Victoria, and Laurent are all dead not that anyone's sorry to see them go… I could go on but to be honest, I'd really rather not," I said, studying my reflection once again. Not a hair out of place.

There was a crash in the waiting room, causing us all to jump. Someone was snarling. Probably Edward. He doesn't like anyone talking bad about is precious Bella.

"Edward attempted suicide? Jasper hated himself? Alice almost had a breakdown? Jacob and someone named Sam almost killed each other? And 3 people are dead because of her??" Dr. Giggles asked. He picked up the phone and hit 1. "Stephanie? Can you reschedule all my appointments for today? I'm going to need the time."

A/N:** Rosalie is such a bitch!** I love her!!! **So there has been some confusion, Claire is 10...She acts her age sometimes, but other times she acts older or younger.** I'll get the next chapter up soon. **I know my characters have been off the wall OOC but let's face it, we have no idea what they're really like behind closed doors. _Review!_** Also go _**check out TRDancer's stories like Oxygen!**_ :-D She's a great writer! Also if you want a good read, go to my favorite stories. I only favorite stories I truly like and they're always good. _**Oh and in case I forgot (which I know I didn't) review!!**_


	4. We're Going To Need A Family Ward

***~*~*Dr. Giggles' Point Of View*~*~***

Deep breaths, Collin. Deep breaths. They may all be clinically insane but it's too soon to diagnose them. First things first. I have to interview the boys.

"Good afternoon gentlemen. I'll tell you just as I told the girls, everything you say in this room is confidential. Please try to be as honest as possible and don't be afraid to express yourselves. If your not honest with me and with each other, we will never get anywhere," I said, looking at the boys.

They all looked at me skeptically, as if they knew something they shouldn't. I really didn't like the feeling they gave me. I was sure any one of them could crush me with their pinky finger's alone.

"Well, why don't we start by saying a bit about ourselves. Who would like to start?" I asked. Everyone pointed towards who I believe was Edward. That's an interesting start. Maybe his suicide attempt was recent enough that the rest believed he should be the one to start. I wonder if hell own up to the suicide attempt.

"Oh why don't you all bite me. Fine, I'll go first. A few years ago I attempted suicide as I'm sure you know. It was just a misunderstanding. I can be very protective of my family, especially Bella, Renesmee, and Alice. After all, Bella is my loving girlfriend and Renesmee and Alice are like sisters to me," Edward said quietly, his eyes charcoal black. I felt scared looking into them.

"We'll have to address that farther after we're done. Jasper, would you like to share?" I asked, looking at the boy who looked like he belonged on the cover of GQ and not in my office.

" I love the Civil War. Sometimes I feel like I was born in the time of the Civil War because of how much I know about it. The south will rise again! Umm, I struggle with being a vegetarian but it has gotten a lot better lately," Jasper said, looking at the ceiling. He was so quiet while speaking I had to strain to hear him. The only thing he said with true emotion was 'The south will rise again!' and even then it wasn't that loud.

"Emmett, would you care to go next?" I asked, not bothering to comment on Jasper's words.

"Sure doc. Let's see. I am in love with my sexy kitty. I love seeing her shake that little thang. I pride myself on being the strongest in the family! I love betting with Jasper," Emmett said, his whole body shaking with silent laughter. I didn't know why but to be honest, at this point I didn't want to know.

"Thank you Emmett. Jacob? How about you go next?"

"Dude, I don't know what to say. My greatest joys in life include loving my girlfriend and insulting my sister. Oh my god! I just thought of a new one! Rosalie! How did the blonde die drinking milk!? The cow fell on top of her!" Jacob shouted. I heard an angry hiss from the other room and yet another crash. I shuddered to think what all had been broken out there. Maybe I shouldn't have the others so close, due to the fact that they seem to have excellent hearing.

"Oh…kay…Seth? What about you?" I asked.

"I'm here because I love my family enough to not disrespect them by refusing. Doesn't mean I want to be here and it doesn't mean I think I should be here. Just so were clear. I'm a fairly peppy guy and my wonderful girlfriend makes me all the happier. I don't really want to say anything much," Seth said, not shyly but reserved. As though he thought talking to me would be disrespectful.

"That's understandable. Lucas, why don't you go next?" I asked, looking at the young man. He hadn't stopped fidgeting since he sat down.

"I love the past. The olden days and such. That which as already come to pass has always fascinated me. For without a past we would have no future. I also love keeping my little pixie calm. I swear I'm the only one that can keep her calm. She's my favorite sister. Leah is my girlfriend. She's my little firecracker. Anything else you want to know? Ask someone else," Lucas said, giving me a strange look.

"Okay Lucas. Nahuel?" I asked. Such strange names in this family.

"Well like I said, I'm only here because Maggie would have dragged me anyways. Just going seemed more logical. Not that I don't appreciate your efforts to fix the family, I just don't think it's going to happen. Some things aren't fixable. Besides as dysfunctional as we are, we're happy. As far as personal things go, I have nothing to share. My mother died giving birth to me and my father is an evil man that I want nothing to do with. My aunt was my caretaker for the longest time but she needs to have her own life," Nahuel said earnestly.

"That's understandable. Quil, what do you have to share?" I asked.

"I'm not sure where to start. Jacob, Embry, and I are always getting into trouble. Nothing serious though, don't get me wrong. We just really enjoy trying to outdo Em and Jazz. We even took out a couple walls in the last house we lived in because we were over exuberant with our wrestling matches," he said, grinning at his family. They broke a COUPLE of walls?? What the hell? How? Did they wrestle with sledge hammers?…

"Okay. Umm…Embry? How about you go next?" I asked.

"Yeah doc, I guess your running out of people to ask. I don't really know what to say to you. I love my family. I'm single but it's by choice. I've just never met anyone that's really caught my eye so to speak. To be honest, I'm jealous of my family. Everyone has someone. Even Quil has someone to be with. He's single right now but we all know he's destined to be with Claire when she's of age. Hell even Leah finally found Lucas. And we thought she was going to be single forever. Ever since Sam left her for Emily," he said, causing Seth, Lucas, Quil, and Jacob to glare daggers at him.

"Carlisle, would you like to finish it off?" I asked, the pen in my hand flying across the paper. This family was going to take forever.

"Well Collin, I'll admit I have a slight OCD. I use work to escape from the family when they all go crazy. Some people seem to think I have a 'God complex' being a surgeon and all. I really don't though. I became a doctor to save lives, not be God," Carlisle said. I had to be careful about what I say about him, he's a really important member of the hospital and I'm sure he could get me fired if desired.

"Thank you Carlisle," I said, looking over my notes. I didn't know where to begin. "Edward, would you like to explain what happened when you attempted suicide?" This should be interesting.

"Why not? It's no big secret. Bella and Jacob went cliff diving and Alice found out. Alice told Rosalie that Bella jumped off a cliff. Rosalie told me, but she made it sound like she was trying to kill herself. I called Charlie's house and Jacob answered the phone. I asked to speak to Charlie and Jacob said he was at the funeral. Of course I thought he meant Bella's funeral so I tried to kill myself because there is no way in HELL I'm ever going to live without her. She is my life," Edward said. I felt my jaw drop. Was he serious? He's only 17 for Christ's sake! I doubt he even knows what true love is. Hell I'm 27 and I don't even know what true love is.

Edward growled and I shrank back without thinking. What normal human being GROWLS?

"Well Edward, what happened that you didn't succeed? And how did you try?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"I'll answer in reverse order. I overdosed on some pills that were in the medicine cabinet like Alice and Ashley's Ritalin and Embry's Prozac. Alice and Bella found me and called Carlisle. He rushed me to the hospital. The end," Edward said in a clipped voice. I made a note to get Alice, Rosalie, Jacob, and Bella all together for a session to discuss the suicide.

"Jasper, I have a question for you. As I'm sure you heard, Rosalie said you hated yourself because of Bella. Why is that?" I asked.

"Because I almost killed her. You would hate yourself too. It was an accident but I will forever be repentant. We're actually closer than ever now. It really brought us together. That and Edward's attempted suicide,' Jasper said chuckling. Who the hell chuckles while talking about almost killing someone? I didn't even bother getting the details.

"Thank you for that. Jacob? What happened between you and Sam that caused the two of you to almost kill each other?" Once again I didn't think I wanted to know but I guess it's my job. Maybe I should look into another job.

"I used to be in love with Bella. Sam hated Bella. He talked smack about her and I well…smacked him. He hit me back. We fought but Seth and Jared kept us from killing each other. Sam and I still talk a lot. There's really not a lot to say," Jacob said laughing.

"Yeah…Umm…Why don't we bring the girls back in and talk about some more things in depth before we split up…" I said, wondering what would happen now. I'm not sure I cared to know.

"Hey doc, I got a question," Emmett said, looking at me.

"Sure Emmett," I said. Let's see what he comes up with.

"Do they have family wings in the mental ward? Because we're so going to need them," Emmett laughed.

"Well Emmett, we normally don't commit entire families." But for your family I think we'll make an exception.

A/N: I feel so sorry for Dr. Giggles. The Cullen's are so…crazy. **Also I would like to explain the whole Dr. Giggles thing.** It's actually a movie staring Holly Marie Combs from Charmed. It was the first name that popped into my mind while I was trying to name our favorite shrink. **I don't know if you guys are finding this funny or not but I'm trying. _My muse is back!!_ **But I haven't had the chance to see him yet. Little shit! I may have to kick his bum. I have another recommendation. **Author AliciaCullen1901** (I hope I spelled that right.) I loved her two shot called Bella In Jail. **Many thank-you's to BrattyTeenageWerewolf** for recommending that I do this chapter from the lovely Dr. Giggles point of view.** Also all my reviewers thank you for your sugar highs, laughs, and praise.** _Jenny, lay off the caffeine girl but thank you!_ **Review!** I promise I'll update as soon as possible! **Peace and love boys and well mainly girls.** _Actually, do any boys read this???_ I'd love to know!


	5. Blonde Jokes

***~*~*Jacob's Point Of View*~*~***

"Blondie! I've got another one for you! What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?" Jacob asked as Rosalie walked back into the room with the rest of us girls.

"She moved, mongrel. Get some new material," Rose spat at him. Rose and Jake had their good days and their bad days. I guess this would be a bad one.

"Down kitty," Emmett joked when Rose hissed at Jake. Rose lunged at Emmett, growling. Oh yes, we were keeping up the normal human façade perfectly.

"That's it Emmett Cullen! I'm not having sex with you for a week!" Rose yelled. I stifled a giggle. I doubted highly that they would last that long. I would bet they would be going at it like rabbit's the moment we get sprung from this hell.

"Enough! Rosalie go sit between Esme and Alice and don't move. Emmett, between Edward and Jasper. Don't make me give Jacob and Jasper permission to start painting your cars hot pink and baby spit-up green. Don't think I won't. Got it?" Carlisle shouted, glaring at them.

"Oh whatever," Rose said, throwing herself into her chair. Emmett on the other had just sat down wordlessly.

"Always the drama queen," I mumbled.

"Go to hell Bella. Why can't you ever just shut up?" she bitched.

"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong you whore!" I shouted, jumping over across the table to choke her. I had a feeling Jasper was fueling my anger.

I bashed her head into the floor, being careful not to dent the wonderful Dr. Giggles floor. We wouldn't want to have to explain that one.

Edward grabbed me from behind, dragging me off of Rose while Emmett kept Rose pinned to the ground. I growled but didn't prevent Edward from hauling me from the floor into his lap.

"Sit still love," he whispered in my ear.

"So, I would like to ask you all a question. Who are James, Victoria, and Laurent? And why are they deceased?" Dr. Giggles asked, ignoring the fight that just broke out in his office. I had a feeling he would be ignoring a lot of things from now on.

"May I?" I asked the family. They all nodded in agreement. I had already thought of the perfect cover story in the time it took them all to nod.

"Dr. Giggles, James tried to maliciously murder me. Edward protected me from him in an act of self-defense. Victoria, James' lover, attempted to extract revenge on me. Seth and Edward protected me. I believe she drove her car off of a cliff when she realized she would never be able to kill me. Laurent was their friend. He didn't take the news of their deaths well. He got drunk one night and walked into the wrong group of people. They killed him. Edward was never charged with anything, nor was Seth," I explained. So what if that's not exactly how it happened? I couldn't really give him the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, now could I?

"Why did James wish to do you harm?" Dr. Giggles asked, scared.

"We never found out. He died before he told us. I believe he may have killed before," I said, not looking at Dr. Giggles but at Edward.

When I turned back to look at Dr. Giggles, his mouth was slack and he looked in shock. "Edward, is he okay?" I whispered just loud enough for my love to hear.

"Yes. He's just having a moment. Apparently, the look on your face when you were talking about them was very unnerving," Edward chuckled.

"Collin? Are you alright?" Carlisle asked loudly after Dr. Giggles had been silent for over 2 minutes.

"Huh? Oh yes, I'm fine. Sorry, where were we?" Dr. Giggles said. "Oh yes, Bella, how do you feel about the fact that Jasper almost killed you?"

Oh great, here we go again. Can't the past stay well, in the past. "I'm fine with it Doctor. He didn't mean me any harm. I just accidentally got in his way. He was having a bad day and he lunged at me. He ended up causing me to fall into a stack of glass plates. Nothing to major. But he was forgiven before I even hit the ground. Being a hungry vegetarian with fresh meat near is a difficult thing to live with. Makes one moody. Oh doc I don't think you know this but Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Ashley, Lucas, Maggie, and myself are vegetarians," I explained to him, flashing him a smile.

"You're all vegetarians? That's an interesting lifestyle choice. Isn't it difficult that only some of you are vegetarians though?" He asked. He should be happy we're vegetarians. If we weren't he would be a dead man. Though I'm not sure any of us would really want to drink someone as foul smelling as Dr. Giggles.

"Yes we are. And no it's not. We all have learned to live with each other. Sure the temptation is always there when only half of the family are vegetarians but the other half doesn't intentionally tempt us or anything like that," Carlisle smiled.

"We all fall off of the bandwagon everyone now and then though, don't we Eddiepoo?" Emmett teased.

"You should know Emmett. After all you fall off a lot more than I do, don't you?" Edward challenged.

"Getting back on track, Alice do you feel you are dependent on shopping?" Dr. Giggles asked. We all had to laugh. Even Alice giggled a little.

"I'm not dependent on shopping. I just think it's a good outlet for stress. You know, I could do wonders with this room. All it would take is a couple buckets of paint and maybe some new furniture…" Alice commented, her eyes glazing over.

"Alice you are not going to redecorate the nice doctors office. Calm down," Jasper said. He looked like he was on an emotional overload.

"Yeah Ali, calm down before you give Mr. Emo an emotional breakdown," Emmett said.

"I'm not EMO!" Jasper shouted before throwing an apple at Emmett. Well the apple did look better covering Emmett's head. Though Jasper threw it with enough force that Emmett should have been knocked unconscious.

"Bitch that hurt!" Emmett whined. I truly doubted it did but it looks better if Emmett is at the very least in pain. "When we get home you're a dead man."

"You know, I think Springer would have been just as effective as therapy," commented Lucas in a bored voice.

"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" We all chanted, except for Carlisle, Esme, and Dr. Giggles. We would make the most interesting episode of Jerry Springer ever. Sometimes I have to wonder if Springer isn't a vampire himself because he's been on air forever and he's old as shit and hasn't like changed a bit. Emmett is obsessed with that show. It's quite sad actually.

Dr. Giggles, being the man he was, simply ignored all of the outbursts. "Carlisle, Esme? I would like to speak with you privately before I dismiss you all for today. Then during our next session I would like to begin the couples sessions. The children can leave now if they wish."

"That's fine doctor. Kids, go ahead and go home, we'll be home soon," Carlisle said.

"And that house better be standing in one piece with every single wall in tact or so help me god I will have to kill each and every one of you," whispered Esme, to low for Dr. Giggles to hear.

We walked together down the halls of the hospital, earning stares. It was a really big hospital for such a small town but it serviced all of the surrounding towns too. We were, of course, something to behold. All of us insanely gorgeous and graceful. Even Claire was beyond beautiful and she was still human. But I think that it's just a matter of time before she becomes one of us. She's already begged every available vampire to turn her on her 18th birthday.

"So…that went swimmingly…Don't y'all think?" I giggled.

We all laughed, arms linked, as we walked across the parking lot towards our cavalcade of cars. Of course Jake had to make one last comment before we left.

"Yo, Blondie! Why do blondes like lightning?" Jake asked, laughing. I knew the answer to this one!

"I don't know, mutt," Rose spat at him.

Before Jacob had a chance to finish the joke I answered, "Because they think it's someone taking their picture!"

A/N: So…I just wanted to finish up the first day of therapy. Up next _will not_ be the conversation between Carlisle and Esme with Dr. Giggles but instead it will be at home and the aftermath of the first day. **Today's recommendation is for sillybella**. Go check out her story The Past Comes Back To Bite You. It's a really good story. I'm only on chapter 10 right now. Also check out her one-shots. They're made good.** I think I'm going to have to start hiding all sugar and caffeine related products from my readers.** _I am also sorry if the hysterical laughter caused by reading my story gets you in trouble with your parents, or twin._ **Love you all!** **Review!** _Please?_ I promise to update soon.


	6. Aftermath

***~*~*Renesmee's Point Of View*~*~***

"Okay children, we need to talk about what happened today. It's important that we discuss these things. Especially now. After all, what good is therapy if we don't talk about it?" Carlisle said. It's still so weird to think of him as dad. After all, he's really more like my grandfather but since I'm older now and we're living in a new town, he had to be dad.

"What's there to talk about? I'm going to kill Rosalie. The end," Bella said, glaring at Rose. This should be interesting.

"Mum, don't do anything you'll regret in 50 years," I told her. I would have said tomorrow but lets be honest, being a vampire means it takes longer I guess.

"Would you stop singing that song Esme? I understand you don't want me in your head but you could just ask Bella to block you…It would be a lot easier on both of us," Edward snapped. I wondered what song she was singing that made dad so mad. I mean Edward so mad. Even after a year of calling him Edward, I still slipped a lot.

"You're my honeybunch, sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin. You're my sweetie pie. You're my cuppycake, gumdrop, snoogums-boogums. You're the Apple of my Eye. And I love you so and I want you to know that I'll always be right here, and I love to sing sweet songs to you, because you are so dear," sang Esme. I remembered her singing that to me when I was around a year old.

"Oh…that song. I'm sorry dad," I said, figuring since we were home alone it wouldn't be a big deal to call him dad.

"Okay Edward, I blocked everyone so you can get some piece and quiet," Bella murmured. They shared a short but sweet kiss that caused me to retch. No child should have to see their parent's make out. No matter how small the kiss or how short the session.

"Thank you love," flirted Edward, biting Bella's ear lobe seductively. Gag me with a spoon.

"Guys, do you mind? I think mum and dad have something to say and your kind of being a distraction," Jasper stated. I was surprised that he didn't just steel Alice away and ravish her. It looked like Emmett wanted to steel Rose away and ravish her though. To bad it wouldn't happen. Rose was really sticking to this no sex thing.

"Thank you Jasper. So children, today has been an enlightening day. I learned just how creative my children can get. I must say I was shocked when it was you Rosalie that almost slipped up and not Claire. No offence intended Claire. Now there are some things we need to talk about. Jacob, you need to lay off of the blonde jokes. Rosalie, you need to stop over reacting to them. Emmett, you need to act like the grown up you supposedly are. Bella, Rose, this isn't Jerry Springer. Contrary to popular belief it's not okay to just attack each other. Especially out in public like that. Jasper, you need to let people either feel what they feel or just calm them the hell down. Stop using peoples emotions as your own personal toy. Bella, congratulations on your ability to lie today. It was quiet brilliant," Carlisle told us.

"Dr. Giggles has some concerns he talked to us about. He is worried about most of your mental well-beings. In fact, he would like to have Edward, Jasper, Bella, Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Embry all committed. And that's just to start with! Needless to say, you guys really need to start acting more human. I don't see how you children get other children to believe your human," sighed Esme. I could understand her problem with the situation.

"Now children, we're going hunting. Down by Tanya's. Far away from all of you…As in, we may not be around but if you so much as put a dent in the wood, Esme will have your heads and I'll have every other limb," Carlisle threatened.

"Actually not so much as a scratch in the floor or else," Esme countered.

They took their leave shortly thereafter. The house was silent for almost a minute. About the amount of time it would take them to get out of earshot, then all hell broke loose.

Bella lunged at Rose as she lunged at Jacob. I grabbed up Claire and ran her to the media room on the other side of the house. No need for her to get caught in the crossfire.

As I rushed back down the stairs, I couldn't help but laugh at the comedy of the situation. Much like in the old cartoons, most of the family was in a ball fighting each other. All it was missing was the dust and wacky sound effects.

"You fucking bitch! I'm going to rip you limb from mother fucking limb! All the bad shit's my fault? I'd kill you if you weren't already a stone cold dead bitch," Bella shouted.

Emmett and Edward was intertwined with Rosalie and Bella. Luckily they were all made of stone, otherwise they wouldn't be able to breath the way they were twisted together.

"If your wife ever makes my wife feel so bad again I will have her head and your ass on a platter! Then I'll serve it to the wolves!" Edward screamed, wrestling Emmett.

Quil and Embry were fighting next to them, still in their human forms.

"Kidnap my baby girl again and I'll rip your hamstring out," threatened Quil.

"It was Emmett's idea! I just helped him because he bribed me. I knew no harm would ever come to Claire, especially if I was there!" Embry confessed.

I tried making out more of the little conversations going on amidst the fighting but I couldn't. Mainly all I could hear were snarls and growls.

It looked as though everyone was fighting with someone. It was quiet ridiculous. I simply sat on the stairs, watching. That's when I heard it. A crash. Not just a little crash either. A loud crash that told of punishments to come. Someone had broken the door. I didn't see who went through the door but I did know it would have to be fixed and SOON.

Everyone froze. Only those of us that needed to breath even dared such a feat. Then everyone was moving. Vampires were rushing to get wood for the door, werewolves were rushing to get tool to fix said door, and us hybrids were rushing to get the hell out of there.

Ashley, Claire, Nahuel, and I sat in the media room, watching the original Casablanca whilst the rest of the family worked on repairing the door. I wondered idly if Carlisle and Esme would notice the difference.

A/N: _So guys, what did you think?_ To be honest I didn't really like this chapter. I don't know why. Something about it just bugs me though. Maybe I'm just over thinking it. LOL most authors are never satisfied with their work. I guess I'm one of them. **So I'm re-reading Breaking Dawn and I got a bit of inspiration for the next chapter from that.** I'll give you a hint. It's because of something Jacob wonders. I kind of wondered about it myself. **The next chapter is going to be EXTREMELY graphic! (Not sexually)** I do not suggest it for the faint of heart or anyone to young. I'll put a warning on it when I'm done writing it. **It's going to be from Embry's P.O.V.** Today's recommendation is for _**RoseHaleBabi**_ and her amazing poetry. I especially loved Alice's poem. Just so you know, every time someone reviews, I go to their profile and will usually read some if not all that they've written. It depends on if it sparks my interest. Love you all. **I hereby reinstate the cookies and the coffee!** You guys hyper is amazing! _**Review!**_


	7. Fatal Mistake

_**WARNING!!!!: INSANELY GRAPHIC CHAPTER! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A FAINT HEART, A WEAK STOMACH, OR DON'T LIKE SAD THINGS. But do read the authors note at the end!**_

***~*~*Embry's Point Of View*~*~***

Today had been a fairly interesting day. We had our first day of family therapy. Dr. Giggles was a clueless idiot who ignored the most obvious of shit going on around him. I don't know how they expect us to 'fix' anything when our therapist ignores everything.

I loved my family but going to therapy with them was torture. I didn't want to hear about their problems. They all had their soul mates and they had love. I had nothing. I couldn't have anything. I couldn't have that. I tried to stop phasing. I tried to get older. But I don't have enough self control to die I guess.

I was to scared to date. What if I fell for her? What if she fell for me? I couldn't risk that. I could never tell her the truth. It wasn't safe. She would be killed. And what if she didn't understand? What if she told everyone?

I remember the day Jacob had stood in his room and wondered to himself whether or not a bullet to the head would kill him or just leave a huge mess for him to clean up. That had been one of the darkest days of his life. I guess this was the darkest of mine.

I fully intended to test out Jacob's simple musings. I knew if I was successful I would hurt more than just myself. I would cause so much pain to everyone I loved. I couldn't bring myself to care though. For once in my life, I wasn't going to think about everyone else. For once I would think only of myself, only of my pain.

I already had the gun. I'd had it for a long time. A simple Smith & Wesson 9mm, inherited from my father. He had a thing for guns. I got rid of most of them but I kept this one. It had been my dads favorite.

You wanna know something funny? Everyone always assumes I'm quiet because I'm shy and reserved. That's not true. I'm quiet because I'm depressed and lonely. Even in a crowded room I feel alone. It's gotten to be to much. Jasper knows how depressed I am but he promised long ago to never tell anyone about it.

I pressed the cold barrel of the gun to my right temple and thought once again about what I was about to do. I choked on the tears streaming down my face. I looked over my final note one last time.

_Dear Family,_

_I'm sorry to leave all of you this way but I cannot deal with the pain any longer. Please do not stand at my grave and weep for I am not there, I do not sleep. Whether there is a heaven or not, I shall always look over you and keep you all safe. Maybe we will meet again one day but until then this is ado._

_I love you all,_

_Goodbye,_

_Embry_

I would miss them all so much but this is something I have to do. I couldn't take it anymore. I took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

I heard the gun go off, felt the searing bullet enter my temple. It was a peculiar sensation, the bullet passing through my brain. I felt the tissue repairing itself just as soon as it passed through.

By the time the bullet exited stage left, the hole at stage right was almost completely healed. Blood now decorated my bedroom and the bullet shattered my window. They're was glass strewn around the room now. I sighed and threw the gun across the room.

"Fuck my life." Looking around my room now resembled a crime scene off of CSI:, minus the dead body of course.

"What did you DO?" Alice shrieked as she and half of the family came rushing into the room. The rest of the family must be out, still trying to make the new door look identical to the old.

"What does it look like I did Mary Alice? I shot myself. Apparently suicide by gunshot doesn't work on us glorious werewolves," I hissed.

"No Embry Call, what you did was break a mother-fucking window! That we're going to have to fix! Your so lucky I can't rip you limb from limb without killing you!" Alice shouted, jumping up and down like an angry Tinkerbelle. Maybe Alice was Tinkerbelle's evil sister. I'd never thought of that. Huh…maybe I should ask Lucas about that one of these days.

Alice growled at me. Edward grabbed her just before she tried to lunge.

"Calm down pixie. I'll go down to the hardware store and get a new window. I'll replace it myself. And if Esme wants to kill anyone over it, she can kill me. Okay?" I countered.

Alice simply growled at me and stalked out of the room. Everyone else remained frozen. I walked into the bathroom attached to my bedroom to get cleaned up before I went into town. I knew they would bombard me with questions as soon as they unfroze. I sighed again.

************************************************************************************

I walked into Spoons, the local hardware store. As I walked through the door I saw a young girl with soft white hair that flowed to the middle of her back, her eyes were an odd amethyst color. Her alabaster skin shimmered slightly under the florescent lights. She was the most beautiful girl in the entire world. More beautiful than anyone, living or dead. Not ever Rosalie could compare in my eyes. The rest of the world ceased to matter to me. Who needed the rest of the world when this seraph was standing before me.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I couldn't even move. Who was she? Why hadn't I seen her before?

"Hello," I managed to whisper. My heart beat fluttered in my chest as she smiled a brilliant smile.

"Good evening. I'm Jennifer. And who are you?" she chirped. Her voice and her smell screamed vampire but her eyes…her eyes said something else.

"I'm Embry. Are you new here?" I inquired. I didn't realize we had subconsciously walked towards each other and now we were merely a few feet apart.

"Yes I am. I just moved here. I managed to break the newel on my staircase. I was umm…experimenting and fell and it broke off. What brings you here?" the beautiful Jennifer wondered.

"I shot my window out. I was experimenting too…" I answered her being just as vague.

"That's a shame. Window's are always the hardest to replace," she commented. I wish I knew how she knew.

"Can I ask you something personal Jennifer?" I blushed.

"Of course but please, call me Jenny. Everyone does," she laughed.

"Are you a…vampire?" I sounded so ridiculous.

She sighed quietly. "How did you know?"

"I'm a werewolf. Well a shape shifter to be technical but a werewolf none the less I guess. I live with a large coven of vampires and such. The Cullen's," I murmured. Her eyes grew wide but her smile only grew wider itself.

"I've never met a werewolf, or a shape shifter, or whatever you are before. Actually I've never met another vampire before either. Other than the one that changed me I guess. I always forget about him," she explained.

I laughed and walked with her to the counter. I ordered a piece of glass to fit the window as Jenny and I continued to talk about everything and nothing. I explained to her about imprinting and the fact that I had imprinted on her. I told her about my family. About family therapy. She told me about her past. Her feelings towards me which were already amazingly strong. Her power.

Jenny could do so much but she had very little control. She could levitate, possessed telekinesis, and could alter her appearance as well as others at will. My amazing angel. I asked her to meet my family. She agreed to meet them tomorrow, after she fixed her house.

When we bid farewell I rushed home to fix the blasted window before Carlisle and Esme got home. I knew they would know the window had been broken but at least it would be fixed.

************************************************************************************************************

"It's okay Jenny. This is my family. The vampires are Edward, Bella, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Lucas, and Maggie. The werewolves are Jacob, Seth, Leah, and Quil. The hybrids are Renesmee, Nahuel, and Ashley. And of course Claire is the only human. Our parents, Carlisle and Esme, are down in Denali right now, hunting with some cousins. I think they'll be home soon though. Right Ali?" I said.

"Yes! They're going to be home in 57 minutes," she said then sighed. "They're going to see the front door and know right away that it's not the old one. Shit."

I laughed and she glared daggers at me. "What's so funny?" she snapped.

"Do you honestly think they're going to care once they find out about my bedroom window? I may have fixed it but I can't get the blood off the walls. I think I might have to move to a different room. We have plenty," I mumbled.

We were lounging around the main living room when Carlisle and Esme came bounding through the door, both looking furious.

"What the hell happened to the door?" Esme snarled causing Claire and oddly enough Jenny to flinch.

"Esme dear, let's wait to find out about the door. First let's find out about the girl with the white hair. Who are you?" Carlisle said, laying a hand on Esme's shoulder to calm her.

"I'm Jennifer, but everyone calls me Jenny. I'm umm…I'm Embry's imprint. You must be Carlisle and Esme. It's a pleasure to meet you," my darling Jenny murmured. "I'm a vampire, even if I don't look like it. It's part of my gift. Like magic."

"She's my little witch," I joked.

"Well Jenny, welcome to the family. Will you be staying with us?" Carlisle asked politely. I could see in his eyes that he really wanted her to say yes, for my sake.

"I have a house actually but it's not much of a house. Just a little cottage really. If you'll have me I would love to stay with you. This is a very nice atmosphere. And you are all very nice people," she said quietly.

I grabbed her up and twirled her around, kissing her softly. I had never felt so euphoric in all my life.

I whispered in her ear, "I love you."

Jenny whispered back, "As I love you."

So what if we all had to go back to therapy tomorrow? For tonight, I would be happy!

A/N:** Sorry about the graphic nature of the chapter **but to be honest, I think it needed to happen. You needed to see Embry on his darkest day before he fell in love. _So what do y'all think of Jennifer?_ **Yes Jenny, I really put you in the story.** Don't have a heart attack. I don't want to have to use my C.N.A training. I'm going to try and write the next chapter just as quickly as I wrote this one but it might take a little longer due to the real world. You know the real world, that place we all avoid? **See I'm going to be graduating in 2 weeks** and I need to finish up some stuff. Thankfully I'm home schooled so it's no big deal to graduate. Anyways!_ I promise to update soon._ I love all of you. You all rock. _**Review!**_ _I have cookies and Dr. Pepper waiting for everyone who does._ ;)


	8. Bears, Blondes, and Bitching! Oh My!

***~*~*Emmett's Point Of View*~*~***

"You did not! How?" Jasper asked incredulously to Edward while I laughed next to them. Of course Jasper would want to know.

"Jasper, it's really very simple. Just say no. And then walk away. Quickly," Edward laughed. Let's face it. It is SO not that simple.

"Edward, it's say no then run like a mad fucker. And that only works for you because you're the fastest of us," I joked as we walked into the waiting area. The rest of the family was still down in the parking lot.

"Shut up Emmett," Edward growled.

"Admit it, there is no controlling Alice when she wants to play dress-up. Running away from the psycho pixie only makes her angrier," I said. The words had barely left my lips when Jasper charged into me, effectively tackling me.

It wouldn't have mattered but for the previously unnoticed human. She looked bemused, as if she expected the little brawl. We stared at her.

"Hello. I'm Sasha Rose but my friends just call me Rose. And you are?" Sasha Rose introduced herself. Such a pretty little thing with such innocent femininity. Nothing like my vivacious Rosie.

"I'm Emmett and these are my brothers. Jasper, the emo, and Edward, the king of mood swings. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Sasha Rose. You know my girlfriend's name is Rosalie but we call her Rose," I said, flashing her a grin wide enough to make most people run scared. Sasha Rose didn't even flinch.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance's. I must be off though but I'm sure we'll be seeing plenty more of each other. Until then, I bid you ado," Sasha Rose hinted, a sparkle of knowing in her eyes. Great. Just freaking fang-tastic!

After I was sure she was out of earshot, I turned to Edward. "Is it just me or does she know something she shouldn't?"

Edward gave me his best well-duh look and hissed, "She DEFINATLY knows more than she should! She meant it when she said we would be seeing more of her. Though oddly enough, her thoughts were of the purest kind."

Finally the rest of the family joined us. I grabbed Rose up and kissed her quickly but passionately.

A smile danced across my face as Dr. Giggles came into the waiting room. The rest of the family may hate family therapy but I totally find it amusing. It's torture in the most basic form.

"Welcome back everyone. Today were going to start the couple's sessions instead of doing one-on-one sessions. First up are Emmett and Rosalie. Follow me please," Dr. Giggles said.

Rosie and I stood following Dr. Giggles not into the conference room like I expected but into a small circular office, complete with a classic therapist couch.

Rosie sat down in a chair in front of Dr. Giggles' desk while I opted for the couch, plopping down. Dr. Giggles sat behind his desk, looking us over.

"I like your shirt Emmett. Are bears your favorite animal?" he asked, trying to break the ice or some shit like that I guess.

"Yup! I love 'um! If it weren't for an irritable grizzly I wouldn't be here today," I said, looking over at Rosie lovingly.

"Why wouldn't you be?" Dr. Giggles wondered.

"See most of my family thinks I like bears because of the joy I get from wrestling them but that's not really true. IF that bear hadn't almost killed me, Rose wouldn't have saved me. And without my Rosie, life would honestly hold no interest for me," I explained, getting up to wrap my arms around my only love.

"I see," he said absentmindedly then his eyes got wide. "Wait…you wrestle bears…for FUN?"

"Yes I do. I love the feeling of the adrenaline coursing through my veins," I said, trying to make the reasoning sound human as possible. Not that wrestling bears is a human thing.

"Oh…kay…Moving on, Rosalie…Do you think you hide behind your beauty?" Dr. Giggles asked, encroaching on dangerous territory. Rosie already hates Dr. Giggles, it's not a wise idea to piss her off.

"No I do not believe I hide behind anything. I would be the same person if you took away my beauty but why in the world would anyone want to take away my beauty? Unless their jealous of course," Rosie said, acid seeping through her voice.

"You know Rosalie, vanity is one of the seven deadly sins," Dr. Giggles said. I laughed. What an idiot!

"Actually Dr. Dipshit, the seven sins are luxuria, gula, avaritia, acedia, ira, inidia, and superbia. Also known as lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. Do not insult my intelligence. I may be a blonde but I'm not an idiot. I may suffer from many of the deadly sins but vanity is not a deadly sin and I don't suffer from it!" Rosie shouted. I'm sure the whole hospital heard her outburst.

"Would you say you're tenacious Rosalie?" Dr. Giggles continued, as though Rosie hadn't insulted him.

"What do you think? I may be tenacious but my family doesn't give a shit. Besides, I'm not going to change who I am just because some quack asshole tells me to," she hissed, glaring daggers at him.

"Rosie baby. Deep breaths. You know no one expects you to change," I said, hoping she didn't kill me for it.

"No one expects me to change!? Like I couldn't?! Like you could change being a serial killer!" Rosie shouted in a fit of tirade.

"Serial killer???" Dr. Giggles said, freaking out. Rosie really stepped in it now.

"Yes I'm a proud cereal killer. I kill the Lucky Charms every day!" I said, laughing. Thank god for my ability to make a joke otherwise we'd be fucked. Again.

"Oh, _cereal _killer."

"Yes, it's a family joke. I kill a box of Lucky Charms every morning," I announced proudly.

"The family expressed some concern about your very active sex life. Especially the fact that the two of you have done 'it' in all of their cars and most of their beds. Is that true?"

"Look doc, I'm not going to deny we get carried away but sometimes we just get the urge and I think it's better we do it somewhere private than on the living room floor," I said.

"You did do it on the living room floor!" Jasper shouted from the waiting area.

"And the kitchen floor!" Alice shouted.

"Not to mention the second living room!" Bella called next.

"Plus the media room!" Quil screamed.

I was rolling on the floor laughing as they continued to call out various rooms that Rosie and I had…made use of.

"Maybe the 2 of you should consider toning down your sexual activities and confining yourselves to your room for the sake of your family," Dr. Giggles suggested. It was a good suggestion, not one we would ever listen to but a good suggestion none the less.

"We'll take it into consideration," I said carefully.

Rose looked at me like if we did she would kill me. Dr. Giggles began talking again, "That should be all for today. Send in Alice and Jasper please."

We stood and walked out of the room. I heard Rosie muttering under her breath. "Mother fucker was lucky I hunted last night."

A/N: **So…**What did y'all think? I was originally going to write a one-shot with Emmett explaining to Bella just why he loves grizzly's so much but I thought it fit so well in here that I just included it.** I have a Rose/Em one-shot that I'm thinking about posting called 'At Last' so keep your eye out for it.** Today's chapter featured the wonderful **Bad Wolf Jr AkA Rose.** I made her name Sasha Rose for the purposes of this story. **Anticipate seeing her in the future.** Haha Rose asked for a guest appearance and I give her a full fledged role._** Does anyone else want to make a guest appearance? **_Chances are you'll end up a full fledged character. I just got done watch_ Grease_. It's an amazing movie if you haven't seen it. It's my suggestion of the day. _**Review!**_ Go…do…it…Love you all!


	9. Screw Your Emotions!

***~*~*Jasper's Point Of View*~*~***

Emmett walked out of Dr. Giggles office feeling calm and relieved. Rosalie stalked out behind him feeling royally pissed off.

"Somebody needs a happy meal," I muttered under my breath.

Rosalie growled at me and threw a silver stiletto at my head. I ducked and the shoe got stuck in the wall.

"Fuck you Jasper!" Rosalie snarled. I flinched at the anger and vexation pouring off her.

"Ali, Jazz, the doc asked for you next," Emmett muttered, pulling Rose out of the room.

With a sigh, I lead Alice into Dr. Giggles office. We took our seats in front of his desk in silence. He continued to scribble on the legal pad in front on him. Perhaps we had entered a little too quietly for he hadn't seemed to notice us.

I cleared my throat to gain his attention. His head whipped up and his emotions went from relatively calm to full of fear and anxiety. At the rate his heart was pounding I feared he was bound to suffer from cardiac arrest unless he calmed the hell down. I sent him subtle waves of calming and tranquility.

"Hello Alice and Jasper. How are the 2 of you today?" Dr. Giggles inquired kindly.

"I'm fine," Alice smiled.

"I'm quite well thank you. A little hungry. I skipped breakfast," I said quietly. If I was going to be forced to be here I might as well have fun with it.

"Jasper, you said you liked the Civil War. What about it draws you in?" Dr. Giggles asked.

I sighed too quietly for the good doctor to hear and responded, "I don't know. My great great grandfather died during the Civil War. His name was Jasper Whitlock. I'm actually named after him. He was proud to die serving his country. Cause. Whatever."

"Would you be proud to die for your country?" Dr. Giggles asked, curious.

"Of course I would! But the point of war isn't to die for your country. It's to make the other bastard die for his," I retorted. Alice laughed from her chair next to me. I smiled, gazing deep into her onyx eyes, darkened not from hunger but from love and passion which poured from her. I sent waves of love and desire back at her until Dr. Giggles interrupted us. The jealously coming off of him was staggering.

"That's an interesting way of putting it," Dr. Giggles noted. "So Alice, Carlisle and Esme tell me your very passionate about fashion and shopping. What's the longest you've ever gone without making a purchase?"

"2 days, 9 hours, 42 minutes, 11 seconds," Alice chuckled. "See I'm not dependent on shopping. Besides, it's not like I have to worry about money. Thank god I'm independently wealth."

Alice was bouncing in her chair, her eyes far away with a vision. Excitement radiated from her.

"How much money do you have independently Alice?" Dr. Giggle asked. I thought it was rude to ask such things but perhaps that's because I was brought up in a more proper era.

"I have $3,647,128.97 in my bank account," Alice said innocently. I suppressed a laugh. She had that in one account, but what about the 27 others that are hers? Or that 31 that are for the entire family? Plus she has access to my 23 accounts…Not to mention the fact that if she ever really wanted to she could get into the 284 accounts the family has in total.

When I saw the look on Dr. Giggles face I couldn't help but laugh along with Alice. I'm sure it was a tough pill to swallow, knowing your "17" year old patient has more money than you ever will. If only he knew how much the little pixie is truly worth. She could buy out the 10 wealthiest men in the world without batting an eyelash.

In fact she had bought out Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, the Walton's, and Bernard Arnault. She actually owns Microsoft, Berkshire Hathaway, Wal-mart, and Louis Vuitton.

"That's impressive Alice. Do you ever dress-up the family against their will?" Dr. Giggles asked, recovering from his shock.

"Look Dr. Giggles, I only dress them up when were all either bored and have nothing to do or when we have to go out in public and they can't dress themselves. Like today, Jenny was going to wear this gaudy ass yellow shirt with black strips, pink tights with black strips and yellow and black pajama pants. I could NOT let that happen! Ever!" Alice snarled.

"Shouldn't it have been her decision to make though?" Dr. Giggles commented. Oh shit! Duck and cover. I repeat, DUCK AND FUCKING COVER! The irritation coming off of Alice is not a good sign.

"Part of being a Cullen is dressing like a Cullen!" Alice shrieked.

"But your not a Cullen, you're a Swan," Dr. Giggles said calmly, as though he was commenting on the weather.

"Look here asshole! My last name may be different than my parents but their still my parents. Being a Cullen isn't just a last name, it's a fucking state of mind!" And with that said, Alice flew at Dr. Giggles feeling murderous. I grabbed her and held her to the ground. Lucas burst through the door and ran to us, at human pace unfortunately.

"Mary Alice Brandon-Swan-Cullen! Calm down this instant! Do not make me hurt your little plastic friends. You know I can and will. Dr. Giggles apologizes for insulting you, don't you doctor?" Lucas said calming Ali and scaring the shit out of Dr. Giggles at the same time. I sent waves of remorse at Dr. Giggles.

"I'm so very sorry Miss Swan. I never meant to insult you," whimpered Dr. Giggles, on the verge of tears. To much remorse…But seeing the doctor have a breakdown was so much fun!

"I'm sorry Jazzy. You know you're the credit to my card, don't you?" Ali said, love and regret coming off her.

"I love you too baby girl," I said quietly, wrapping my arms around her. I pulled her into my lap and we sat in my chair in front of Dr. Giggles desk together.

Lucas slipped out of the room unnoticed as soon as Ali was calm. I loved my brother-in-law. He and Ali have such a strong, pure bond.

"Jasper, is it true you like to dress-up in women's clothing and pole dance?" Dr. Giggles asked.

If I could blush I probably would be but since I can't, I settled for scowling at Dr. Giggles like a 2 year old.

"I don't see how it's any of your business but if you must know I was practicing for RENT. I'll be playing Angel in the back-to-school production in 2 months. It'll be my senior year after all, I might as well enjoy it," I informed him.

"Well that's our time for today. Could you please send Edward and Bella in next?" Dr. Giggles announced suddenly.

I stood up, pulling Alice with me, and we quickly walked out of the room.

A/N: **So here it is. **Yes I am aware that Jasper was dancing to a song from West Side Story in the first chapter and not a song from RENT but whatever. **It's going to take me a bit to write the next chapter.** _So sorry guys but I have a life that needs tending to. _It's not much of a life but it is a life. As soon as I post this I'm going to go make myself a peanut butter banana milkshake. Anybody else want one? It's my bribery for today. **If you review you get a milkshake of your flavor choice.** I love all of you that take the time out of your day to read my story and I love those of you who review even more! You guys are AMAZING. _**Don't forget to review, good or bad!**_ Peace and love.


	10. The Sounds Of An Absent Mind

***~*~*Edward's Point Of View*~*~***

"Alice says were going to be up in about 10 minutes," I murmured to my beautiful Bella.

"Oh joy. You know he may have survived Rose and Ali but I don't know if he'll survive me. After all, I'm the 'newborn'," Bella joked.

"Oh love you've never been a 'newborn'," I said kissing her nose softly. She giggled and Emmett gagged.

"You know Emmett we have to deal with you and Rose's sexual behavior on a daily basis. Me kissing my wife's nose is nothing to gag about," I growled at him. '_Yeah but you've had forever to get used to it. I haven't,' _Emmett thought rudely.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt your childish banter but I'm looking for a young woman named Sasha Rose. She has soft short yellow curls, golden eyes, and really pale skin. In fact, she looks a lot like y'all," a petite girl with fiery red hair that fell to her shoulders asked. Her golden eyes bore into mine. '_Great, more vampires. At least they have eyes like ours. They seem tame. I'll ask Luna what she thinks later. First we must find Sasha. She really needs to stop disappearing. I wonder if they scared her off,' _Elizabeth thought a slight frantic tone to her mind.

"No we didn't scare her off. She thought she needed to hunt after spending an hour with Dr. Giggles. In fact she said she would be seeing us again soon," I answered her thoughts.

"Wait, can you read minds?" the girl with long raven hair that went to her waist said. Her eyes were onyx.

'_I bet he can but how to be sure. I know I'll ask him what number I'm thinking of. I bet he won't be able to guess 1,929,' _she thought to herself.

"Why 1,929? And what are your names by the way?" I asked. My family simply looked confused with the girls looked nervous.

"Sorry. I'm Luna and this is Elizabeth. I'm assuming you've already figured out we're vampires as is Sasha Rose. We hunt only animals though from your eyes I'm assuming the same is for you," the young girl, now known as Luna said quietly.

'_Why is it whenever we move, we find more and more vampires? Can't we just settle somewhere we don't have to worry about others. Fuck!' _Rosalie thought, her thoughts angry.

'_What the hell is going on out there?' _Alice thought. Hmm, I should have someone explain when they get done. _'Ohh, more good vampires! Yay for visions!'_ Looks like I won't have to have someone explain.

"Yes, we're very friendly. May I ask if you have any powers we should be aware of? We have a wide range of powers ourselves. Edward can read minds as you've figured out, Bella can block mental powers, Alice can see the future, Jasper can control emotions, Renesmee can project her thoughts into peoples minds and she can take thoughts out, she can also borrow peoples powers, Ashley knows things, Lucas sees the past and he also sees the present as it unfolds, Maggie knows when she's being lied to, and finally Jenny can levitate, posses telekinesis, and she can alter her appearance at will though she hasn't gained much control yet," Carlisle explained.

"Wow, that's very impressive. Well I can control animals which makes our hunting habits so much easier. Luna can produce many forms of light, her personal favorite being her ability to glow like a light bulb. Sasha Rose can see people's aura's it's very impressive. We're sisters though we look nothing alike. As hard as it is to believe we were born together and turned together. Triplets. We really should go find Sasha Rose though. She tends to get herself into trouble. Perhaps we could get together after your therapy session?" Elizabeth said.

'_Maybe after dinner time. I can see there are humans and werewolves among them but good people none the less,' _Luna thought to herself.

"After dinner would be perfect and you need not worry about the wolves, they will cause you no harm. They are family," I said as Alice skipped out of the room with Jasper.

"You're up! Enjoy," Alice said smiling defiantly. I growled at her but got up anyways. Bella and I said goodbye to the girls and walked into the office.

We both eyed the couch conspiratorially. Bella lifted her shield and thought, '_Wanna get comfy and make a show out of it?' _

I nodded and pulled her towards the couch. I laid down, stretching out. Bella laid herself out next to me, instinctively I curled my arms around her.

"Hello Dr. Giggles. How are you today? Have our siblings driven you insane yet?" Bella asked, her voice coy.

"I'm umm…I'm well. Your siblings are very interesting but I assure you I still have my sanity," Dr. Giggles said. His thoughts contradicted him though. '_Insane? HA! Your family is driving me down right batty!'_

I laughed. I had a feeling after dealing with us he was going to be institutionalized himself.

"So doctor what would you like to talk about today?" I asked causing Dr. Giggles to look dumbfounded.

"Well how about we start with your attempted suicide?" Dr. Giggles suggested. _'Like why you would be stupid enough to do that.'_

"Look doctor we've been over the why and the how. There's not much left to discuss. Yes I attempted to kill myself, yes I regret my actions, no I don't plan on doing it again, yes I understand the severity of what I did. I think that covers any and all possible questions. Oh wait, no I wasn't put into a mental hospital after I attempted suicide. Carlisle understood what happened and knew I didn't and don't need to be locked up," I said, listing the answers to all the questions he could think of.

"Bella love, his mind is getting on my nerves. Would you mind greatly?" I asked to low for Dr. Giggles to hear. Almost immediately his mind was silent. It was nice not having to listen anymore. Between Bella blocking the doctor and me ignoring the family it was almost quiet in my mind.

"Yes I think that covers everything. Bella, you said your writing a book based on a true story. You also said it was about vampires. Do you believe vampires are really?" Dr. Giggles asked.

"Of course I do. I know a lot of vampires. And my best friend is a werewolf. Actually he's a shape shifter but werewolf sounds more manly. He's going to be in my book too!" Bella announced. Way to sound like someone who needs to be institutionalized Bella!

I hugged my wife closer to my chest, love filling my heart. She is perfection. Making the doctor think we're insane is so much fun!

"Bella would you say you live a stressful life?" Dr. Giggles asked. I wasn't sure what he was getting at but I knew I would love Bella's answer.

"Since I believe stress is just a condition caused by repressing the body's desire to strangle the living daylights out of some asshole who desperately deserves it, no I don't feel I live a stressful life. You see I don't repress that feeling. Do I honey?" Bella said, trying very hard to not laugh.

I rubbed my neck as though to say, why no, no you don't.

"Do you strangle anyone who annoys you or only your family?" Dr. Giggles questioned Bella.

"Are my hands around your neck right now? I didn't think so. Let that answer your question," Bella snapped at him. I laughed when Dr. Giggles eyes got as big as saucers. He should get used to having his life threatened. It's a Cullen family tradition.

"Edward, would you say you overreact to things?" Dr. Giggles asked, leaving Bella alone after her little threat.

"I don't overreact, I react just enough. There is a difference even if certain people don't know that," I answered. Bella laughed against my chest.

"You so totally overreact. Remember the first time I got my period at the house?? Or when Jacob and Renesmee first kissed? Or how about the time…" Bella rambled on.

"Okay I get it! I overreact. Let's not keep going down that line of thought okay?" I interrupted her.

"What happened the first time you got your period Bella?" Dr. Giggles wondered. Oh my god…Does he not know that some things are private?

"Emmett thought I was dying and Rosalie simply made fun of me. In fact Edward was hunting with the rest of the family and Emmett and Rose and I had decided to stay home. I hadn't realized I started and I bled through my white jeans. Emmett saw and started freaking out. He called Edward, who rushed home and didn't understand. I tried calming him but he just didn't get it was a natural thing," Bella explained through laughs.

"Whatever. Any loss of blood is unacceptable," I growled. I couldn't help but shudder a little the memory. Bella found it funny but I hadn't. I knew all women get their periods and that results in bleeding but I couldn't help but freak out. She had gotten her period in a house full of vampires. So what if only 2 vampires were home at the time? What would have happened if Jasper had been around at the time? Would he have tried killing her?

"You seem very protective of Bella, do you think you ever take your protectiveness to far?" Dr. Giggles questioned.

"Yes I do. I know I do. I would say I don't but then Bella would just bring up a string of instances when I was and then I would just have to admit it. I figured I'd cut out the middle man," I answered him honestly.

Bella elbowed me in the stomach and hissed, "I'm a woman you idiot. You cut out the middle _woman_."

"Sorry love," I apologized kissing the top of her head.

"Well I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today," Dr. Giggles said standing.

Together the 3 of us walked out of the office and back into the waiting area. I chuckled, seeing the stiletto was still sticking out of the wall. I would have thought Rose would have retrieved her shoe by now. Looking down at her feet told me instead of retrieving the offending shoe, she simply fetched a new pair out of her car.

"Today has been a fairly interesting day and has simply flown by. Thank you all for coming. I shall see you all tomorrow when we will continue with the couples sessions. Have a good day," Dr. Giggles said, turning and walking back into his office before anyone could say anything.

"Asshole," Rosalie muttered.

"Shall we go home and see about having a little alone time before we meet with the new vampires?" I asked Bella. She simply giggled and pulled me out the door at vampuric speed. That's my Bella for ya.

A/N: O**kay, just so we're clear, Sasha Rose is Bad Wolf Jr, Elizabeth is Carlie Cullen Black 4 Rl and Luna is LunarEclispe1. **Anyone else who wants to make a small guest appearance is more than welcome to ask. Just let me know what you want your name to be and I'll pop you in somewhere. You never know…You might be human, vampire, hybrid, or maybe even something as cool as an imprint.** I'm watching Twilight again.** It's the 3rd time I've watched it today. I'm not obsessed. I'm simply deeply interested. Unfortunately I can't stop finding flaws in the movie and pointing them out to my poor mother. Like oh my god, did anyone else notice that Emmett is actually eating during one of the cafeteria scenes??? I actually noticed this BEFORE I watched the movie with the commentary on. If you haven't listened to the commentary yet your really missing out. It was hilarious. **Next up we learn more about the sisters and Luna will be demonstrating her power.** Which I think would be really cool to have by the way. Imagine being able to light up the tips of your fingers and dance around a dark room. It would look SO cool. **Okay so like I would like to recommend that all of you go read Carlie Cullen Black 4 Rl's story Love From The Start.** It has a great plot and who doesn't love a good Jake/Nessie story? _**Review!**_ I have said enough. Today's bribery…Hmm…I'll answer any question you ask if you review. _I don't care what the question is, I'll answer it. Personal, story related, or even something stupid_…_**So go review!**_


	11. A Cookie In Each Hand Is A Balanced Diet

***~*~*Claire's Point Of View*~*~***

I walked into the kitchen in search of the cookie jar. Esme has made a fresh batch of her triple-chocolate-death-by-Tollhouse cookies or as I like to call the a sugar high in each bite.

I spotted my query high above me, sitting innocently on top of the fridge. Shit…I contemplated calling for Quil or someone tall but I heard strange voices and I decided against it. They could be having an important meeting, no need to disturb them. Sighing I opened the fridge. I had a plan. It wasn't a smart plan but it was a plan.

Taking a deep breath I began to climb the inside of the fridge. See? A stupid plan…

Amazingly I reached the cookie jar unscathed and without difficulty. Reaching in, I pulled out 2 of the monstrous cookies. I carefully jumped down, landing how Renesmee had taught me. I bent my knees and absorbed the impact with the balls of my feet. Unfortunately, being the human I am I stumbled and fell on my bum.

I sighed and mumbled, "The millisecond I turn 18 someone is biting me!"

I stood and walked into the living room, a cookie in each hand. Standing with my family were 7 strange vampires. Elizabeth and Luna along with 5 I didn't recognize. As I entered, every pair of eyes fell on me.

"Hello. I'm Princess Consuala Banana Hammock and I believe that a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. Who are you people?" I announced proudly.

"I'm Sasha Rose and these are Elizabeth, Luna, Grace, Rhiannon, Shaunee, and Alycia. Elizabeth and Luna are my blood sisters and Rhiannon, Shaunee, and Alycia adopted us. Would you like to see something really cool?" Sasha Rose said, smiling down at me.

I took a bite of one of the cookies and nodded my head. Sasha Rose motioned to Luna. Suddenly Luna began to glow. Not sparkle like I was used to but glow like my old nightlight did. My jaw dropped as she concentrated the glow to the tip of her nose. Then the glow started to change color.

I jumped up and down, cheering. That was SO cool. T he girl Sasha Rose introduced as Alycia laughed.

"Watch this little one," Alycia said. Water started pouring out of her right pointer finger. Instead of falling like water should, it started circling the room in a beautiful dance. I giggled as the water disappeared.

"Wow! You guys are really cool. Wanna cookie?" I asked, holding the unbitten one up.

"I would love one angel," Grace said. I handed her the cookie and padded my way over to one of the many couches.

Grace bit into the cookie, humming contently. Quil sat down next to me, stealing a bite of my cookie. I growled unimpressively at him, causing everyone to laugh as they too sat down.

"Actually this little munchkin is my Claire. She's a very unique angel. I guess that's what happens when you grow up surrounded by magic," Quil explained, causing everyone to laugh again.

I pouted and said, "Claire has left the building. For today I AM PRINCESS CONSUALA BANANA HAMMOCK!"

"Of course you are my darling Princess Consuala Banana Hammock. So let's see if I've gotten this all correct…Sasha Rose can see auras, Elizabeth can control animals, and Luna can produce light. The 3 of you are natural born triplets who were then changed by the same person at the same time. You subsequently killed the vampire that changed you. Alycia can produce, manipulate, and absorb water. Shaunee can sleep and make others sleep, even vampires. She doesn't have to sleep, she just likes to sometimes. Rhiannon doesn't have a 'power', she's simply the best singer in the world hands down. Finally, Grace is actually a hybrid of sorts. Born to a werewolf mother and a vampire father. She doesn't live with them anymore though. When she phases she's snow white. She doesn't currently belong to a pack. And all of your mates are out of the state for a male bonding weekend consisting of hunting and God only knows what else. Did I forget anything?" Bella said. My mouth hung open from shock. These new vampires are AMAZING! I wonder if I'll have a power when I change. I really hope I do.

"Nope that's about it. Sometimes I think our husbands are so much cooler though. Sasha Rose's hubby Aiden has the power of Animation. Ethan, Elizabeth's husband, possesses the power of Biokinesis. My baby Kayden has the power of Omnilingualism. Grace's husband Jack holds the power of Temporal Stasis. Grayson, who married Rhiannon, can conjure. Brayden, Shuanee's husband, possesses the power of Technopathy. Finally Alycia's husband Jackson possesses the power of Cryokinesis," Luna told everyone. I didn't really understand the big words but it all sounded so cool. Plus their husbands had really awesome names. I giggled when Luna said Grace's husband's name was Jack. Just like on the reruns of The Secret Life Of An American Teenager.

"You know I still can believe you thought Sasha Rose was human this morning," Jasper said to someone. I wondered silently who would ever be able to mistake her for a simple human.

Edward chuckled, "It was your crazy uncle Emmie. He's such an idiot sometimes."

Emmett growled and lunged at Edward. They fell to the floor, cracking a floorboard or 6...They continued rolling around, breaking 2 lamps and one of the many couches in the process.

Esme was livid. "You broke my RARE $10,453 LAMP! The 2 of you are in SO beyond dead. I want a finger each!"

Edward and Emmett sighed, sticking their pinky fingers into their mouths. They bite down, detaching the fingers with a screeching metal-on-metal sound. They spit their fingers out into Esme's waiting palm.

"Next time it will be a whole appendage," Esme growled before going upstairs. Most likely to her office. It was the one place no one was aloud aside from Carlisle.

"I liked that couch!" I cried. I started to sniffle and the tears began to pour. Oh yes! This was going to be perfect.

Esme came running back downstairs, engulfing me in the sweetest smelling hug. I love it when Esme hugs me. She smells just like sugar cookies and ginger. Simply delicious.

"What's wrong angel?" Esme asked me, rubbing soothing circles on my back.

"They b-b-broke my favorite c-couch!" I wailed. This was going to be amazing! I really did have a thing for the light gray couch though.

"Well boys I have some good news and some not so good news. The good news being you get your fingers back. The not so good news? I'm taking your whole bloody hand for making Claire cry!" Esme said, grabbing the boys by their ears and dragging them upstairs. It took everything I had not to do a triumphant dance.

Everyone laughed at the sight of Edward and Emmett, now without their right hands, walking back into the room.

"Is it always like this around here?" Rhiannon asked.

"Umm…Yeah pretty much…" Bella said, laughing.

"And I thought my husband was bad," Shaunee said.

"Brayden is a saint compared to Aiden! At least your husband doesn't talk to the toilet for hours on end. I swear sometimes I wonder if he's mentally retarded," Sasha Rose complained.

"Have you ever tried talking with the toilet? Maybe then you'd understand why Aiden spends so much time talking to it. I knit I love talking to my toilet. It listens to all my problems and it doesn't' judge me," I told my captive audience. A few of the, Quil included, looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Maybe I had but what's it matter to them? Huh?

"You know she's got a point Sash…" Grace agreed. Holy cookie crumbs did someone actually AGREE with ME?? That never happens…like ever…

"I love you Grace!" I screamed, jumping into her lap and hugging her. She's my new favorite person…other than my Quil of course.

"Claire has the whites aura I've ever seen. Such a pure soul," Sasha Rose commented to no one in particular.

**Important! **

_Sasha Rose - sees peoples Aura's -_

_Elizabeth - can control animals with her mind - _

_Luna - can produce and absorb light -_

_Grace - half-vampire/half-werewolf hybrid -_

_Rhiannon - worlds greatest singer -_

_Shaunee - has the ability to sleep and put others to sleep -_

_Alycia - can produce, absorb, and manipulate water - _

_Aiden - Animation (Sasha Rose)_

_Ethan - Biokinesis (Elizabeth)_

_Kayden - Omnilingualism (Luna)_

_Jack - Temporal Stasis (Grace)_

_Grayson - Conjuring (Rhiannon)_

_Brayden - Technopathy (Shaunee)_

_Jackson - Cryokinesis (Alycia)_

_Animation - Power to bring inanimate objects to life._

_Biokinesis - Ability to control biology. Biokinetics can heal and alter their (and others) body composition and other things related to the body. _

_Conjuring - Ability to think of something and have it appear. _

_Cryokinesis - Ability to reduce temperature, often used to control, generate, or absorb ice._

_Omnilingualism - Ability to decipher and speak any language._

_Technopathy - Ability to control technology with the mind._

_Temporal Stasis - The power to 'freeze' an object or person in place._

**A/N:** Oh my giddy gods trousers. **Finally!** Here's whatever chapter we're up to. Claire is so hard to write but I really wanted to do it from her innocent point of view. Yes she cussed like 2 or 3 times. She grew up with Emmett…and Jacob…and everyone else…So sue me! **Umm if anyone can actually tell me where all of the new coven's husbands powers came from I will let you in a really special secret.** Like really really special. Let's see what else to say…**Umm everyone guest staring in this story I need you to review and tell me which character you are.** Because I lost the sheet with who's who…And I _(as the author)_ need to know! Lol! Bribery to review this time…A dozen virtual roses! :-D Love you all so much! **Review!! Please? It only takes a minute!**


	12. A Loving Dream

**The List Of Vampires/Werewolves/Hybrids/Whatever…**

_**The Other Coven** _(If you can come up with a name for the other coven that would be great...)

Sasha Rose (**Bad Wolf Jr**) - Aiden

Elizabeth (**Carlie Cullen Black 4 Rl**) - Ethan

Luna (**LunarEclispe1**) - Kayden

Grace (**Pseudostar432**) - Jack

Rhiannon (**CullenIncognito**) - Grayson

Shaunee (**AliceCullenRocks-2009**) - Brayden

Alycia (**Angelzawright89**) - Jackson

Logan (**911TurboWriter**)

Kuran (**It Reeks Of Fangirls**)

**_The Cullen's_**

Carlisle - Esme

Edward - Bella

Jasper - Alice

Emmett - Rosalie

Jacob - Renesmee

Seth - Ashley

Lucas - Leah

Nahuel - Maggie

Quil - Claire

Embry - Jenny

***~*~*Alice's Point Of View*~*~***

I sat talking with Shaunee, her short white hair looking beautiful with brilliant crimson highlights. Standing at a mere 4'7" she looked a lot like me. She had a light, bubbly personality and is just as in love with shopping as I am.

Across the room Luna was talking to Jenny. Luna's long raven hair was braided down to the middle of her back. She stood to be about 5'7".

Grace sat near Luna and Jenny talking to Bella and Edward. Grace was a unique creature. Her pale blonde hair was cropped short in the traditional female wolf cut, and her baby blue eyes were dancing with amusement. Grace too stood around 5'7".

Alycia was, once again, entertaining Claire with her wicked water tricks. Alycia's hair was a reddish brown color that rolled down past her shoulders in graceful waves. Alycia was around 5'3".

Rhiannon and Renesmee were on the balcony singing Miranda Lambert's Gunpowder & Lead. Rhiannon's light brown hair swished around her shoulders as they danced. At 5'11", Rhiannon towered over Renesmee's 5'1" frame.

Elizabeth was talking with Jacob and Seth. Her fiery red hair reminding me of Victoria's though Elizabeth's hair hung only to her chin. At 5'9" she looked infantile next to Jake and Seth.

Finally my eyes passed over Sasha Rose who was sitting with Carlisle and Esme. They were talking about Sasha Rose and Aiden's adopted twin girls Logan and Kuran. Sasha Rose's soft yellow curls bound around her face as she explained about the death of Katherine and John, the twins birth parents. Sasha Rose stood at only 5'4" but was obviously the voice of the group.

Sasha Rose's phone began ringing. _'When my world goes crazy, you won't let go. When the ground gets shaky, you give me hope.'_

"Hello Aiden, home already?" I heard her ask.

My eyes turned to something far away. 

_Sasha Rose was hanging up the phone, a worried look on her face. She turned back to Carlisle and Esme and said, "Kuran and Logan's babysitter Bethany got sick. Would it be okay if one of the boys brought them over for a while?"_

_Before Carlisle and Esme could respond, Jenny and Claire were jumping up and down, excited at the prospect of making new friends._

"Of course the twins can come over!" I exclaimed. Everyone look at me, obviously surprised by my latest outburst.

They really should be used to it by now…seriously…

"Are you sure?" Sasha Rose asked.

"Of course. Jenny and Claire would love for Logan and Kuran to come over. They love making new friends," I told her as Jenny and Claire squealed.

We all turned back to our conversations. "So Shaunee, would you like to go shopping tomorrow after I'm released from hell?"

"Alice," Esme chided, her voice holding an obvious warning in it.

"I'm sorry…After I'm released from _therapy,_" I amended myself for Esme's sake even though hell was so much more appropriate.

"That would be AWESOME. There's this store in Kaktovik that I've wanted to go to but no one will go with me," Shaunee pouted, glaring gently at her family.

"I understand exactly how you feel! If I want a shopping partner, I usually have to forcibly drag someone along," I told her.

"Usually me," Jasper muttered across the room. I glared at him, causing him to flinch.

Someone knocked on the door causing Jenny and Claire to jump up excitedly while Carlisle answered the door.

A few seconds later a male vampire flanked by two human children entered the room.

"Ethan!" Elizabeth exclaimed as Kuran and Logan ran into Sasha Rose's waiting arms.

Ethan had short ink black hair that was tastefully windswept. Ethan stood to be about 6'3". Shorter than Jasper but still a lot taller than his wife.

Elizabeth and Ethan shared a short kiss before introducing him to everyone.

Jenny and Claire were already making fast friends with Kuran and Logan, both of whom had light bronze hair, similar to Edward's, and they both had one green eye and one brown eye. They were simply beautiful and so unique.

It was so fun watching the children play. Jenny wasn't really a child though she was merely 16 when she was changed. She still had the heart and spirit of a child but the mind and soul of an adult. A difficult place to be frozen at. Thankfully with her gift she looked to be about 18.

I wondered idly what life would have been like for Jenny if she had not found Embry. Would she have turned into a red eyed monster or would she have continued down the path she was on, never hurting a soul. Thankfully we would never have to know.

I saw Edward nod his head every so slightly in agreement with my thoughts.

I closed my eyes and felt myself slipping into a land I had never before known.

_I was staring at a tan Jasper with pale blue eyes. His hand was warm as he grasped my little hand in his large one. He was laughing freely. Then he pressed his tender lips to mine and I felt my heart soaring. It took me a minute to realize my heart was actually beating in my chest._

"_Alice," Jasper said in his sexy southern accent. My name never sounded so good._

"_Yes?" I answered, my voice no longer tinkling like bells, instead it too was now thick with a southern drawl though it was still light and airy._

"_I love you, you know that right?" he asked me quietly._

"_As I love you Jasper," I told him._

_Suddenly Jasper got down on one knee and pulled out the velvet box every girl dreams of._

"_Mary Alice Brandon, with each passing minute my love for you grows. I am never going to want anyone else. Would you do me the wonderful honor of being my bride?"_

"_Oh Jasper! Of course I will!" I shouted, jumping up and down like the pixie I am. Jasper slipped the elegant diamond ring onto my small finger. Our lips met once again in a kiss filled with joy and passion._

I was suddenly no longer standing under the summer sun. I was once again sitting on one of the many couches in the main living room. Well laying now.

"What just happened?" I asked no one in particular. Everyone's eyes were on me.

"Well…earlier Jasper kind of asked me for a favor. He said it was like a dream of yours. Being able to sleep that is. Well you just did and according to Edward you had a beautiful dream," Shaunee explained.

"Thank you Shaunee," I told her. Wow…I actually slept. And I dreamed the most amazing dream too!

"Well I think we better get going. The munchkins all need to sleep I'm sure. Besides y'all have an appointment with Dr. Giggles in the morning," Elizabeth announced as Logan yawned and climbed unto her back. Kuran followed suit, climbing on Sasha Rose's back.

We all said our goodbyes and I grabbed Jasper, pulling him to our room upstairs. I wanted to thank him properly for the dream.

A/N: **Well this was a very short chapter but it was something I had been playing with in my head ever since I announced Shuanee's power.** In case y'all don't remember, sleeping was the thing Alice would do if she knew she could not fail. **My recommendation today is for Esme's Children by Twilight1987!** It's hilarious. Totally OOC but whatever right? OOC makes everything so much funnier. **Also I have added my music play list onto my profile.** That's the music I usually listen to when I write. It's not the full list but a good portion. **I wish I could give each of you a hug and a Cullen car of your choosing.** Guess what? **Next chapter we go back to therapy**. With Jenny and Embry. It'll be from Jenny's Point Of View. Also I'm working on another story called** A Dozen Rose's** so it might take me a bit to write the next chapter of Family Therapy. Love you all so much for reading! _**Review!**_ It only takes a few secs and it really makes me happy. _And a happy author is a quicker update! _Also just like Tanana, Kaktovik is a real Alaskan town. I like a certain amount of realism to my stories. **I am offically a 2009 Graduate! **I'm homeschooled so I like graduate earlier than most people but yeah. I am now done with any form of school work!


	13. Do I Have To?

***~*~*Jenny's Point Of View*~*~***

I was hovering over the bed, watching Embry sleep. I was so lucky to have found him. He was already my whole world and we had only been together for 2 short days. I already felt as though I belonged, not only with Embry but with the entire family.

"Good morning Jenny," Alice whispered as she slipped into the bedroom.

"Good morning Alice. How are you today?" I asked Alice politely, swiveling in midair to face her. I love being able to levitate.

"I'm great. But I just had a vision. Embry and you are going to be the first to go today with Dr. Dipshit," Alice told me.

I sighed and sunk down a few inches. "Oh joy. He looked absolutely horrifying yesterday and smelled even worse."

"Don't worry. I'm sure it won't be _too _terrible," Alice said before dancing out of the room.

Embry began to stir under the covers. I smiled down at him, floating back up so I was once again hovering about 2 feet above the bed.

"Mmm…Good morning beautiful," Embry said, stretching.

"Good morning Embry," I said, dropping down to kiss him softly before sighing again.

"Is something wrong babe?" he asked me worried.

"Alice was just in to see me. She had a vision. Dr. Giggles will want to see us today," I told him.

Embry wrapped his arms around me, pulling me down onto of him. It felt good to be wrapped up in his warm embrace.

"I love you Jenny. Everything will be fine. I promise," Embry told me.

"I love you too," I whispered, resting my head on his bare chest.

*******************************************

"I so don't want to be here…Why am I here…?" I wondered aloud to no one in particular as we waited for Dr. Giggles to make an appearance.

"Because your part of this family and to be honest, everyone in this family is_ bat shit crazy_," Carlisle informed me. In the 2 days I'd been living in the Cullen Mansion, I'd found that out for myself. Hell the only reason I had even met Embry was because he had to fix his window after attempting to kill himself. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.

Dr. Giggles came out and his eyes immediately zeroed in on me, nestled in Embry's lap…

"Good morning everyone. I see a new face. And who are you?" Dr. Giggles asked. I stood up and walked towards him.

"I'm Jennifer Dove. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen just adopted me 2 days ago. I'm also Embry's girlfriend," I told him, shaking his hand tight enough to make him wince and maybe even bruise but not hard enough to break anything.

"Oh really? Well would Embry and yourself mind being the first couple to go today?" Dr. Giggles asked. Like we have any choice.

"Of course we wouldn't mind," Embry said, coming up behind me and hugging me.

We followed Dr. Giggles into his office. Such a depressing little room. Embry sat down on the couch while I sat on the floor between his legs.

"So Jennifer, tell me about yourself," Dr. Giggles requested.

"Let's see…I'm 17 years old. I was recently orphaned but I don't really care. My birth parent's weren't the best people in the world. I met Embry 2 days ago at Spoon's Hardware and let's just say it was love at first sight but so much stronger. A few hours later Carlisle and Esme were signing the adoption papers and I moved in with my amazing new family. I believe that being weird is just like being normal only so much better. My favorite word is sarcasm and I speak it fluently. I love late fall and the color green, if it's the right shade. I'm a night owl and never sleep. Sometimes I talk to much but it's part of my charm. Any questions? Comments? Concerns?" I said somewhat quickly but still slow enough for the evil one to understand.

"So you've known Embry for only 2 days and already the two of you are living together?" Dr. Giggles stated. Retard.

"Well I already know that I love her more than anyone has loved anyone else. Ever. And that's never gonna change," Embry said. "Considering we're both orphans, we know how short life can be and I know she, like me, believes in living for the moment."

"Interesting," Dr. Giggles murmured. His hand flew across the legal pad in front of him making note after note. "Jennifer, are those your natural hair and eye colors?"

"Yes doctor, I was born with amethyst eyes and snow white hair," I said as Embry ran his fingers through my hair softly.

I felt his hands pressing down on my shoulders. It was then I realized I was hovering almost 2 inches above the floor. Thankfully I was wearing a long full skirt so Dr. Giggles didn't notice my little magic act. Sometimes when I'm really happy I float on air and don't even notice.

"Is that even genetically possible?" Dr. Giggles asked.

"Umm…Obviously," I hissed. Dr. Giggles flinched unconsciously.

"So Embry, tell me about how you met Jenny," Dr. Giggles asked. Oh the joy.

"Well I had attempted to kill myself, ended up breaking a window, had to go down to Spoon's Hardware, saw Jenny, fell in love, asked her to move in with me, and here we are," Embry summarized terribly. Note to self: Ban him from talking about the 'accident'.

You could practically hear the cricket's chirping as Dr. Giggles sat dumbfounded. 10 to 1 say's he's contemplating having Embry committed.

"Oh but don't worry, now that I have Jenny, I don't plan on ever trying again," Embry smiled.

Dr. Giggles blinked a few times then he cleared his throat. He made a few more notes before speaking again. "Embry, why did you attempt suicide?"

"Because I couldn't take the pain anymore. I was sick and tired of everyone being so freaking happy around me while I was slowly dying inside," Embry said. If I could cry I would have.

"Okay. What is it about Embry you love Jenny?" Dr. Giggles asked.

"He holds me when I'm sad, he makes me smile with just his eyes, shares my hopes, dreams, and fears. Makes all my nightmares disappear. I love him without regret. I just love him because he's him," I told Dr. Giggles.

"The more I learn about this family, the less I understand," Dr. Giggles muttered so low no human would be able to hear but we're not humans…

I growled at him as did everyone in the other room, barring Claire of course. The more I saw of Dr. Giggles, the less I liked. Asshole.

"One final thing before I let the 2 of you go. Are y'all sharing a room?" Dr. Giggles asked.

"Of course we are doctor, but we both have our own rooms too. So 2 people, 3 rooms," Embry said.

With that we stood and walked out the door. I needed to get far away from him before he ended up in a pine box.

**A/N:** I have some advice. **_To insure you hit the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target!_** I know it was another short chapter but it's been a long couple days and inspiration is lacking. **Today is Senior Day on the local radio station and the seniors from the various area schools take over for a few hours per school.** Right now is MHS and before that was PCHS. I'm waiting for SHS to take over later and listen to all my friends from my old school make fools of themselves. It's cool to hear them on the air though because I know a lot of them. Let's see what else…? **Sorry if this chapter isn't funny or anything but like I said, totally lacking in inspiration.** Hopefully the next chapter will be more funny. It's going to be Jacob and Renesmee, I think…Probably from Jake's Point Of View. But I'm not sure yet. _**Review!**_ Love you all! _Today's bribery can be whatever you want. You ask for it and I'll try to make it happen…All for a review…_:-D **The 'other' coven shall now be known as Archibald Coven.**


	14. It's NOT over!

I'm so so SO SO sorry guys! This isn't a new chapter. It's an important authors note. I'm taking a leave of absence. I know I know! How typical, just as the story was getting good the fucking author takes a damn vacation. Y'all have to understand, I have a life OUTSIDE of Fan Fiction. I know, shudder! I'm finally getting my life in order. Like I'm getting over my ex and I'm going to be getting a TATTOO *jumps up and down* I think I'm going to get it on my foot. I'm not sure yet. When I get it done I'll make sure to show everyone.I also just got a new job and I'm trying to get used to that. Emily is about to have a baby and we have to get everything ready for that. I promise I'm not abandoning this story. I'm just stepping away from it for a while until my creative juices start flowing again. I love you all!

~Ashley Nicole


	15. A Brother's Love

_***~*~*Bella's Point Of View*~*~***_

"Bella? Are you okay?" Edward asked me. I laughed, as if anything could honestly be wrong. Well physically at least.

"I'm fine, I'm just thinking back. Remembering my life before I was changed, you know?" I told him, leaning against his shoulder.

"Ahhh…Any memory in particular this time?" Edward wondered.

"The first weekend I got to spend with the best babysitter ever," I said thinking back...

***************************************************************************

"I love you Bella. I'll be back Monday morning before you wake up. Emmett and Jasper are staying with you and I'm just a phone call away," Edward said, kissing my forehead softly. I hate it when he leaves me. I know it's necessary though. His eyes are evidence of that. Edward's eyes could give coal a run for it's money.

"I love you too Edward. Don't worry about me. Emmett and Jasper are sure to keep me from killing myself. Go…The sooner you leave, the sooner you'll be home with me," I told him, pushing him gently. Even if I couldn't move him, I could make sure to get my point across.

Edward ran out of the house with Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper continued to watch the Georgia Bulldogs cream the Florida Gators on TiVo. It was going to be a LONG weekend. I feel depressed.

"Bella it's going to be fine. Edward will be home in just 3 short days and I promise I'll keep out of biting distance," Jasper said, forlorn. I instantly felt guilty. I wish Jasper and I could get closer.

Emmett's phone rang loudly, jolting me from my silent desires.

"Are you sure Ali?" I heard Emmett say into his phone. He looked puzzled while Jasper looked downright frightened, his light butterscotch eyes wide. I felt scared too, wondering what could be happening now.

"I'm on my way," Emmett said, rushing out the door.

I turned to Jasper, dumbstruck. My main babysitter had just run away, with no explanation. I can't wait to be a vampire. Then I would be in the know.

"Alice had a vision…of us," Jasper said quietly. "I know you want us to be closer. I just couldn't live with myself if I were to kill you. Edward hasn't been the only one effected by you. The whole family loves you. Even Rose…in her own unique way. You truly are the little sister I've always wanted."

"Can I give you a hug?" I asked as the tears fell silently.

Jasper held his arms open, letting me give him the hug I've always wanted to. I felt the love pouring off of him. In this moment, he truly became my brother.

"I love you Jasper. I know you worry about hurting me but I have faith in you. I believe in you," I whispered. Jasper smiled softly. I returned to my seat and returned the smile.

"I love you too Bella. We have all weekend together to prove to the rest of the family that I won't kill you. Mainly Edward. But first I believe the human needs sleep, does she not?" Jasper whispered back. I blushed. Ah yes…my over-protective boyfriend. I mean over-protective fiancé. I'm shocked he had aloud Alice to call Emmett, leaving me alone with Jasper.

I yawned involuntarily as if proving Jasper's point. I stood without responding. Jasper followed suit and together we walked up to Edward's room. Thankfully I only attempted to visit the floor once, and Jasper gracefully stopped that from happening.

"Goodnight Bella," Jasper whispered from the doorway.

"Goodnight Jasper," I whispered back.

I fell asleep mere moments after my head hit Edward's oh so soft pillows.

I wasn't asleep for long when the nightmare began. I woke up scared, screaming bloody murder. Jasper was by my side an instant later, holding me close and rubbing my back as I sobbed.

"It's okay Bella. Shh…It's okay. Edward will be home Monday," Jasper whispered.

"Jazz will you stay with me? I don't think I could handle being alone. I'll understand if it's too much for you to handle though," I whispered. I knew I would never get any sleep tonight unless someone stayed with me.

"Of course I'll stay with you Bells," Jasper whispered. I suddenly felt a lot calmer and slipped under once again.

The next time I opened my eyes the sun was streaming through Edward's window and Jasper's cold arms were still wrapped protectively around me.

"Morning Bella. How did you sleep?" Jasper asked cheerfully.

I stretched and said, "Much better. Thank you for staying with me. Was it very hard for you?"

Jasper chuckled and squeezed me gently. "Silly Bella after almost 2 years it's gotten a lot easier. Besides, I love my little sister to much to kill her."

I laughed along with him as we headed downstairs. I was starving and Edward would be pissed if I skipped breakfast.

"What would my favorite human like to eat this morning?" Jasper asked.

"Hmm…How about I hunt and you watch?" I suggested. Jasper nodded, smiling and I wondered idly if he had ever cooked a meal in his entire existence.

I went to the cupboard, grabbing my Fruit Loops. I looped over to the fridge, snatching the milk and orange juice.

As I assembled my breakfast, Jasper's phone began ringing.

"Hello Edward…Bella's fine…She's hunting up her breakfast…Umm, Fruit Loops I believe…Yes, everything is perfectly fine…Not even once…No Edward, I'm not lying. ..If I can't handle it, I'll call…I have no idea what Alice is hiding from you…Okay…Sure…Tell Alice I love her…One second," I heard Jasper say, before passing the phone to me.

I put down my spoon and spoke into the receiver, "Good morning Edward."

"Good morning love. How are you today?" Edward asked, his velvet voice making my heart skip the usual beat. Jasper chuckled on his way out. I assumed he was going back to whatever game I interrupted last night.

"I'm quite well. Jasper's on his way to being my favorite babysitter. Are you being good or is Rose on the verge of killing you again?" I asked, sipping on my orange juice.

"Emmett is keeping Rose bust so I don't annoy her. Alice and I have been alternating between hunting and watching your future but now Alice is keeping something from me. I must say, I'm very proud of Jasper…Well Alice is glaring at me so I have to go. I love you Isabella," Edward said.

"I love you too. Go bag a mountain lion for me," I said.

I finished the rest of my breakfast as soon as we hung up. I was excited to spend more time with Jasper.

As soon as I was done, I rinsed my dishes and ran into the living room. Jasper sat playing Skate 2, growling softly as he biffed it.

"Losing Jazz?" I asked mockingly. Jasper simply growled louder, causing me to laugh.

"So what would you like to do today?" I asked him as he biffed it yet again.

Jasper gently chucked the remote at the wall. It still shattered into a million pieces. I was shocked. I had never seen Jasper break anything without Emmett involved.

"Well after the dream you had last night, how about we get a trampoline?" Jasper asked. I looked at him, dumb founded. Jasper wanted to buy a TRAMPOLINE?!

"You do remember who your talking to right? This is Isabella Marie Swan, queen of the danger magnates. I can trip over NOTHING!" I reminded him.

Jasper laughed, pulling me towards the garage. "Don't worry Bells. I won't let anything happen to you. Besides, I think this is one physical activity you won't fail at."

We got into Carlisle's Mercedes and sped towards Seattle, home of the nearest Wally World. We really need to get a Wally World closer to home or maybe even a mall. Hmm…I wonder if Alice could convince someone to put a mall in like Port Angeles.

"So are you scared Bella?" Jasper asked me quietly. I sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"I'm just worried he won't love me anymore after I'm changed," I admitted, blushing deeply. My voice was barely a whisper in the wind, thankfully I was riding with a vampire.

I felt waves of reassurance pouring over me as Jasper said, "Bella nothing is going to change except you will no longer make him thirsty. Edward loves you for so much more than your blush and your heartbeat. He loves your beautiful mind though he can't hear it's marvelous secrets, your eyes that tell him what your mind won't , and your smile that some home manages to make his dead heart skip a beat. It's not just your voice that makes his heart soar, your sleep talking that entertains us all, or your clumsiness that is so heartwarming. Edward loves you for the simple reason that your YOU."

A silent tear fell from my eye as Jasper gave me a one armed hug.

"Thanks Jazz. That really means a lot to me. I'm so glad we get to spend the weekend together. Emmett would have spent the weekend laughing at me after I tripped going to bed last night," I said laughing as I wiped away the tears.

**********3 LONG Hours Later**********

We finally had the trampoline at home and set up, safety net included. I was staring at the monstrous creation as Jasper laughed.

"Feeling a little anxious Bella?" Jasper joked. I turned to glare at him.

"Shut up Jazz," I muttered.

Jasper picked me up and together we jumped OVER the safety net, bouncing about 6 times before we lost momentum. Stupid showoff-y vampire. Note to self: strangle him after I turn!

Oddly enough the bouncing was fun and not very hard. After a little practice, Jasper let me jump without his guidance. It was exhilarating…until I overshot a jump and went sailing into the safety net. Jasper was reading and apparently didn't sense danger in time to save me.

"So much for something I can do," I grumbled as Jasper helped me up and into the house.

"Oh Bella…" Jasper chuckled.

*********************************************************************************

I snapped back to reality as Dr. Giggles came out of his office. I sighed, smiling. Best…babysitter…ever!

**A/N:** Wow…Finally…How many of you fainted when you saw an actual chapter?? Sorry it doesn't actually have anything to do with the therapy part but I needed to get this out before my mind would let me move on. Well Emily is about to have her baby boy! We are all very excited. I will let y'all know when she finally pops. LOL. Next chapter…who knows??? I think we'll have a quick therapy session and then…SHOPPING! What kind of trouble can Alice and the girls get into when shopping?** I have a HUGE favor. Anyone who has asked to be in the story but hasn't appeared yet, can you *PLEASE* message me and tell me I told you that you could be in it so I can remember?** _Well I love all of you and thank y'all so much for sticking with me! **REVIEW!**_


	16. Never Truly Gone

**WARNING! This chapter is somewhat graphic and is not recommended for anyone sensitive to death and loss. **

**Dedicated to Stephanie A.k.A. Daddy's Little Cannibal**

**Sept 11, 1990 - May 8, 2009**

**Gone but never forgotten. **

**Stephanie inspired many of us to write better.**

"I'm sorry but we really need to cut this session short today. My dear friend and secretary, Stephanie, has been in a terrible accident. Shall we resume this next week?" Dr. Giggles asked. He looked truly devastated.

I felt my eyes glaze over and Carlisle's response was lost to a vision of the past. I saw a young girl of barely 18 walking across the snow covered road late at night. She had headphones on, her music turned up loud. A man was approaching in a large SUV, his vehicle swerving back and forth. The driver of the black SUV was visibly drunk.

I cringed as the front of the SUV made contact with Stephanie's side. A blood curdling scream escaped her lips. Ellie, a young girl I recognized from school, screamed and ran to Stephanie's still body. The drunk driver continued to speed away.

Ellie shook Stephanie, causing me to shake too. If I could cry, I would. I had seen and done many terrible things in my existence but the loss of such a vibrant young life truly sickens me. I remembered Stephanie from school. She lived her life to the fullest, always trying her best. She believed in persevering no matter what.

As my eyes focused back I saw Edward shaking with the same fury that was currently boiling through me. Jasper flinched from all the raw anger radiating from Edward and I.

"What the hell is going on?" Jasper hissed, our anger reflected in his voice.

"Calm down everyone! Jasper isn't handling the anger well!" Alice said, rubbing Jasper's arm soothingly.

I worked on slowly controlling my anger, letting Jasper's calming magic work on me.

xXx 3 Hours Later xXx

"Well it looks like therapy's over. TO bad. It was just getting interesting," Alice commented.

"What do you mean Ali?" Jasper asked before I could.

Alice laughed and said, "Well since our therapist is going to be locked up in an asylum, it'll be hard for us to continue seeing him. He saw her and he snapped. He was apparently a mental patient before you know." I was still confused as were most of us.

"Alice…why would seeing her cause him to snap? Who is 'her' for that matter?" I asked.

Before Alice could answer, Stephanie walked through the front door. She looked absolutely beautiful yet completely miserable. Stephanie looked only at the ground.

"I went to see him," she mumbled. "He was so scared. I'm supposed to be dead after all. Even if I disappeared from the scene…Ellie saw me die. I was as close to death as one could be. But I was saved. Doesn't he see? This isn't a bad thing. This is a good thing. I'll spend the rest of my existence saving those like me…Saving those who don't have anyone else that can save them…"

The now vampire Stephanie continued walking up the stairs.

"How?" was all anyone could ask…all anyone could say.

"She has the ability to speed things up," Carlisle explained. "A transformation that should have taken days, took merely hours. She's a unique specimen. Stephanie has chosen to spend her life helping the helpless. I didn't tell anyone about her because she didn't want anyone to know."

We all turned to stare at the top of the stairs where Stephanie disappeared.

"So what should we do now?" Alice asked.

Renesmee laughed and said, "I have an idea…"

This should be interesting.

**A/N:** I'm sorry to say **this is the end of Family Therapy** but never fear! There shall be a part 3 of this series! It'll be called **Looking Back and the first chapter will be up within the week**. _**Review.**_ _If you review I will give you something special. Something no one else has. The only thing I ask is you tell me your favorite character to drool over._ ;-) _**I love you all.**_


	17. Sequel Up

**Things Remembered**, formally known as **Looking Back**, is now up and running!** Go check it out y'all!!!**


End file.
